Here’s a quick snip of some vocals,
because that’s what I’m working on tonight
and I felt like sharing.

At this rate, I’ll overdub a whole choir of myself by sunrise!

I’m sitting in the car. It’s almost 5:00AM, and I’m waiting for my brother, who is inside a shop ordering himself a sandwich. Without understanding any of it’s meaning, I think to myself “One, Two, Seven, Nine… One, Two, Seven, Nine…” again and again, in a sort of hypnotic loop.

My mind works like this… Certain sounds or words get stuck on repeat, and they fall apart until whatever I’m thinking becomes completely meaningless.

I’m sure everyone’s done this before… Where you sit on a word for a while, and think to yourself “fuck, that’s just a weird sounding word…” Then, you repeat it, for instance, “Salmon“…

You say it again, but this time really stretched out, like “Saaal-oooh-maaan…” and then again, and again, but the more you say it, the less it means, until eventually you’re not even sure it was ever a real word to begin with.

Well, that’s sort of what I do, except I don’t think about it– my mind just jumps right to the repeating part. Most of the time, I don’t even know that I’m doing it, either.

I could have sat for a lifetime skipping sounds in the car outside of the sandwich shop, but as my brother comes out, I look in his direction and I read the address above the door: “1279″.

All at once the noise in my mind takes form, and I realize that it was a series of numbers. I hadn’t even been aware of myself repeating anything until then.

It’s exhausting to inhabit this kind of mind, but to be fair, it’s this very deficit that allows me to write lyric. I just let my mind loop a string of sounds long enough, and eventually they become words.

I guess I’m just scared that one day the meaning will stay lost, and that I’ll find myself stuck in an endless spin. I see people on the streets who can’t find the substance anymore, and it always sets a shiver through my bones.

I have made it my life’s work to express myself, because most of the time, I feel hopelessly alone. If you’ve ever been alone like this, truly alone, then you’ll know how much it helps to sing aloud. So, that’s what I do.

And when I see that my songs have breathed hope into the lives of others, when I see their faces at a show, or read a late-night e-mail, that makes me feel whole again. It’s the only way I’ve ever really known to connect.

In truth, I have loved, and I observe the laws of decency throughout all of my life, but nothing compares to the bond which music binds. It is my sanctuary, my therapy, and the meaning for my life.

i sleep with my guitar
because i have no dog
and i am scared to love

Again…

Large View

This coming June, I will be launching “Simplify Music”. It’s my aim to provide music media in a broad array of formats.

In order to Simplify the mold, I’ll ensure that every possible fulfillment option is available on our website. If you like iTunes, we’ll deliver. If you prefer a physical copy instead, I’ll mail one out to you. Even if somebody wants to download our music for free with torrent seeds, Simplify will provide the link.

Donations are to be accepted, and all of our finances will be transparent, so you can check the website and see how much support your favorite artists are receiving from their fans.

Lastly, a “Simplify” clothing brand is to provide plain, comfortable, and environmentally friendly t-shirts, hoodies, and accessories. The “simplify” logo will be intentionally omitted from any visible surfaces, because I believe it’s time for an alternative to all this flashy, neon bullshit everyone seems to be wearing.

Thank you for taking the time to read about my vision.
I hope you’ll stick around and see it realized.

(P.S. I apologize to anyone I may have offended with the “flashy, neon bullshit” bit…)

This sonnet speaks to a current junction in my personal life… I won’t elaborate on why, but I would like to share it. If you’ve ever been wronged by somebody, or have had the opportunity to engage in petty confrontation but chose not to, then maybe it will hold similar meaning for you.

They that have power to hurt and will do none
William Shakespeare

They that have power to hurt and will do none,
That do not do the thing they most do show,
Who, moving others, are themselves as stone,
Unmoved, cold, and to temptation slow;
They rightly do inherit heaven’s graces
And husband nature’s riches from expense;
They are the lords and owners of their faces,
Others but stewards of their excellence.
The summer’s flower is to the summer sweet,
Though to itself it only live and die,
But if that flower with base infection meet,
The basest weed outbraves his dignity:
For sweetest things turn sourest by their deeds;
Lilies that fester smell far worse than weeds.

All my life I’ve been told to seek happiness, and I’m realizing now that I may have been misdirected. I’d always envisioned a grand epiphany, you know, with blinding white lights and rivers of gold. I thought it would be like an everlasting orgasm.

I’m now thinking, what if happiness was never like that at all: enduring and transcendent?

Maybe it’s always been more of a treat, like a small candy moment to be savored. And perhaps, instead of setting our sights on the eventual climax, we might fare better by learning to be contented with the whole.

I guess that’s just common sense, but sometimes it helps to put it all down in writing. I might remember it better that way…

(Oh, and the title of this post is a reference to splash mountain, a Disney Land ride, and a related movie The Laughing Place )

I took a bit of time off to walk around town and take pictures.

Bark of a tree.

Pacific Coast Highway from above.

In My Neighbor's Yard.

Found on a hike.

The Hand of a friend.

At the top of a mountain.

Gunning for me.

View from Coral Canyon Ridge.