6Mar/1310

Reflections

Have you ever stood in front of the mirror, and gazed upon yourself as if from an outside perspective? Maybe you had a conversation in your mind; or spent some time looking deep into your own eyes. If you’re like me, it probably left you feeling doubtful… I sometimes wonder how self-aware I could possibly be if when looking into a mirror, I seem to see a stranger.

Mirror

This is, I think, much like writing an honest song. To write, one must faithfully render the contents of their own soul, and in the course of editing, we have that same opportunity to gaze upon ourselves and wonder.

For a while, I’d been avoiding mirrors altogether, and for the same duration, I hadn't written any songs. I never liked what I saw in them (disappointment, disillusionment, pain and regret) so I just stopped looking.

The album I wrote over the past five years is full of that sort of sad song. Whenever I start recording them, it takes me back to the feelings associated with those painful memories, and so I've mostly avoided doing that difficult work.

Still, if I’m going to move forward, I have to see this process completed. These songs may not be a true reflection of where I want to be today, but they did get me here. And maybe, if I do my job well, someone else will see something they can relate to reflected back in them.

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  1. Sometimes I find myself wondering the same thing; am I really just another stranger? Do I know myself, let alone anyone else? Other times, when the haze is less suffocating, I feel as if I understand a little something about what makes a person. So if you’ll allow me to share some of my 22-year-old wisdom,

    I think that it is the painful memories that truly shape us. Anyone can react when the situation is all butterflies and apple pies, but it’s during the thunder storms when we really figure out who we are.

    So even if your memories are painful, they’ve created you. Try to embrace them, and associatively, you may end up embracing yourself.

    Heh. That’s what I tell myself, anyway.
    I do hope my musings will help you feel better for a short while, at least.

    • Hey Myste,

      I feel pretty good, actually. :) That’s the problem… I don’t really want to go back and re-live the bad, but I must in order to complete this album.

      • Weeeell then.. maybe just try not to feel so bad about the bad? If you’re happy today, maybe it was all worth it.

        I don’t know really, I think I used up all of my “pretend-to-be-profound” thoughts of the day. nn; Good luck, regardless. You seem to me stronger than you realize (if I may be so bold), so I’m sure you’ll get through it and that the end result will be amazing.

        ..That sounds really cliche. Ah well.

  2. Used to post on your Facebook all the time, Ronnie we all have a dark side and we all live with pain and regret and sadness. But you can write and song and let ur creativity flow. Don’t ever let go go that.

    • I’ll probably always write music, but there have been and probably always will be some long stretches where I don’t write at all.

  3. When you are mining gold you have to get through dirt and grime and mud. But in the end you strike gold and all of the filth was worth it. Keep mining! :)

  4. I’d be happy to see you release anything. Even your most depressing songs are significantly better than most of the music that is currently out there. Releasing a collection of under-polished acoustic songs as an EP would be a great start. I would rather purchase your songs and have them in my music library then click repeat on a YouTube video.

    Following your blogs and posts for a while, I understand you are a perfectionist, but in my opinion (and the opinion of most of the fans who follow you) you have yet to release anything that wouldn’t be worth having as song. My favourite video of yours is “I’ll Wait” performed on your rooftop. The raw acoustic version is extremely moving and in some ways I like it better than the final produced version on the record.

    So my humble advice as a fan is just to release music as you write it. I honestly believe you have a gift or I wouldn’t keep checking in to see when more music will be available.

    • Oh. And also, I would love to pay for a copy of Moon Child (Sunless Seed), but as of yet there is no way for me to do that.

    • I’m going to try and do more of that… I’d like to release more live videos, and just release more in general.

      Lets hope I actually make the time. :)


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