Salvia Divinorum and Brain Damage

I once took a drug that changed my life, and not in a good way… Some people learn not to touch the stove by burning their own hand, but other people, smarter people, learn by watching their stupid brother burn himself. Please, let me be your stupid brother and learn from my mistakes. I experimented heavily with Salvia Divinorum, and I fear that I’ll never enjoy another peaceful night in my own mind because of it.

I had been smoking weed for a few years, and enjoyed an occasional magic mushroom experience, but never found myself beyond repair (and believe me, we took the whole mushroom thing pretty far). I had been reading books by all of the psychedelic pioneers, and many of my heroes had taken acid, mescaline, peyote, DMT, and even my own father often boasts of his own hallucinogenic glory days. So, being an artist, I thought of drug use as an investment in my future. I thought I’d take a fast track to wisdom… “Turn on, tune in, and drop out”, right?

In my head, I was going to glide up to heaven, shake hands with God, dance in the cosmic energy, and then come back down with sexy long hair, a beard, and a couple of platinum records on the wall. In reality, I got fucked up in a van, rolled around on the floor drooling and moaning incoherently, and have spent the last four years of my life trying to recover from it. I’m unemployed, considerably confused, and perpetually frightened by the noise in my head.

Salvia is a quick trip, the main effects lasting only several minutes, but in that short span, you are transported to a dimension beyond normal experience. Sometimes, while tripping, my body would divide down the middle, like something you’d see a cell do in biology class. It would divide until I became the whole universe (a somewhat uncomfortable sensation). Or other times, the music I was listening to would take the form of a young tree or vine, and it would grow in accord with the melodies as they progressed. These experiences, though short lived, always felt timeless and vast, and I'd come down feeling very tired and aged. Still, something in that madness kept calling me back, and I took Salvia several hundred times before I finally broke down and quit.

Whenever I entered a salvia dream, I’d have this sense that my whole life as I’d known it was just a joke. A voice would mock me (this me) for having identified thusly. “Haha,” it would laugh, “Back again, are we?” and I’d have the sense that Salvia’s dimension was the true reality, eternally beyond our earthly lives. It felt like the place where all souls exist.

One night, I ended up taking a massive dose, hundreds of times what I'd been using until then… I was drunk, and the part of me that hates myself took control... I loaded a bowl to the brim, and before I could turn back, my whole life began to collapse.

Everything I’d ever seen, every word I knew, and even words that I didn’t know, words in other languages, all came rushing to the surface. It was like a grand, cosmic parade in which I saw, heard, felt and knew everything that ever was. The entire history of man, every detail of my childhood, the great symphonies, and every star in the sky, it was all there, floating around like debris in a vast deluge. And all at once, it began to collapse inward on itself as if a black hole had formed.

While I watched everything disappear into darkness, I had two great regrets. I wished that I had known sooner about how it had all been a dream, and I wished that I had shown more of my heart to those who I truly loved. I felt sorry for my mom. And then it was dark.

I experienced darkness for an eternity, a lifetime spent in solitary confinement, and then a million million million more.

Eventually, I perceived blueness, and I’d later come to know it as the color of a nearby wall. Then, brownness came back into existence, and that was the table I had collapsed onto. After several eons in the blue-and-brown reality, I got the sense that there was something more to be remembered… Something I had once known, but had forgotten about... And then my arms began to separate from the brown table and became their own entity. In this manner, my world was slowly rebuilt, although many things took months and years to be remembered.

Still today, years later, I have the sense that there are words I once knew, people I’d met, and abilities I had possessed that I’ll never recover. I suffer regular panic attacks over these missing pieces.

Any time my body feels slightly off kilter, a little too cold, hungry, sick or just itchy, my heart begins to race and I worry that I’ll be thrown back into Salvia’s domain. I went completely sober for years, sought the advice of psychiatrists, and traveled the world looking for resolution, but I have yet to find it.

I have trouble believing whether this world is real or not, and it’s cost me the joy of living here. I have a very short attention span, and cannot enjoy certain things I once loved. Reading, for example, is very difficult, as I frequently find myself repeating sentences again and again, understanding each word individually, but failing to see the meaning of them combined. Beyond that, I have developed a lazy eye, occasional muscle spasms, recurring hallucinations, irregular heartbeats, and insomnia. I end up in the emergency room several times a year because I’m constantly convinced that I’m dying...

In short, I have suffered immensely. More than I ever knew possible.

When I opened by saying that some people learn by burning themselves on a stove, I was making light of the situation. What would be closer to the truth is to say that some people hang themselves by a rope and die, but that you needn’t try it, because your stupid brother already did. Please, learn from my experience and never chose this path for yourself. If nothing else, I hope to gain your betterment from my pain.

When I search for “Salvia Divinorum and Brain Damage” on the Internet (and I do so often), the only articles I find are posted by the same assholes who sell this drug to kids, and obviously, they think that it's perfectly safe. So, my purpose in writing tonight was to add a new voice to the discussion, and to possibly prevent somebody else from hurting themselves as I have.

Please, live boldly, take risks, and explore the world in which you are so blessed to be living. But don’t waste your time on worn-out paths that have been shown to lead nowhere. The drug path has been walked a thousand times, and we’re all locked up in hospital wards wishing we could take it back. So, don’t waste your time. Follow health, knowledge, spirit and truth. I hope you’ll find something worth leading others to, and that you’ll share it with the world.

I say this to you with love, as only your stupid brother can: do better than I have.

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  1. Ronnie, I have been following you and your career since “Ever and After” and even have that whole YouTube episode series “favorited.” I can only begin to imagine what you’ve been through and all I can say is, you’re still here. You’re still writing. You’re still doing what you know you enjoy. Stay strong friend, and I look forward to hearing your wonderfully tuned lyrics again.

  2. I am sorry for your pain and I appreciate you sharing your lessons learned. I hope that one day you find the answers to fixing your pain.

  3. This is the only anti-drug message I have ever wanted to heed. The fact that I won’t should be a lesson in itself.

  4. A Psychiatrist and family practice doctor put me on 3 different antipsychotic drugs for anxiety with little explanation of the side effects. All I really needed was a meditation practice, some good books, and a bit of guidance. 4 months later I am completely off the meds but STILL having sleeping problems. I cannot believe how much more “myself” I feel and I cannot imagine how splintering taking so many different psychedelic drugs must be. Anytime you start messing with brain chemistry, you are in over your head…even when you are a “doctor.”

    • I agree– many of the prescription “solutions” are by far the most addicting and mind-altering substances available. The medical establishment in that regard is a horrible, tragic mess.

  5. I never really got into the psychedelics all that much, but I did do mushrooms on more than one occasion. The very last time I took mushrooms, someone decided to insult me (I probably deserved it) just as the mushrooms were kicking in. I went home and sat in my room by myself for most of the night, absolutely convinced that everyone hated me. It was not a good trip at all. I had constant panic attacks throughout my trip and wanted that feeling to go away. It didn’t help at all when my, then current, boyfriend came home and beat me for staying out past the curfew he gave me. His beatings were a common occurrence but then I was convinced it was all my fault. The next morning I woke up bruised, depressed, and in more pain than I could ever remember. Not just from being punched and kicked, but mentally, I wasn’t there. My aunt and uncle came to my rescue when they realized what was going on, they took me in and I began detox (I was also badly addicted to cocaine). After a few months I began to feel physically better, I put on more weight. I went from 95 lbs. to a healthy 115. But that feeling of everyone hating me, was still there. For a almost a full year I barely talked to anyone or said a word for fear that I would be made fun of or yelled at. I was constantly depressed and had panic attacks every morning when I woke up. And I still sometimes have them to this day. Eventually after some coaching, I realized not everyone hated me, I made new friends, started talking to people, and started feeling happier. But the depression and panic attacks stayed. Years went by and I still hated myself. I woke up one day, had my usual coffee and a panic attack and thought seriously about ending it all. I was tired of being depressed, I hated the feeling. As you should know it’s not fun. I decided to not be depressed anymore. I summoned up some courage and realized I was in charge of my own mind. It was mine, I could use it any way I want. I started telling myself I wasn’t depressed, I convinced myself I wasn’t depressed. I was determined not to live like that anymore. I know this is easier said than done, and it took me years just to talk myself out of depression. In my mind I had to be not depressed. I had to tell myself I could do it, I’m strong enough. It’s like, if someone tells a lie so much that eventually they themselves start to believe it. But for me it worked, I am SO happy now. I have a smile on my face every day. Of course sometimes I still have “episodes” but I talk myself out of it. The mind is a powerful tool. Ronnie, I love your music, and you inspire me. And I’m not religious at all but I would pray for you. You deserve to be happy. Smile.

    • I’m on a similar journey, myself– with regards to positive thinking and healing. You’re absolutely right, once that point has been reached and we decide to be happy, it really is within our control to turn things around. I’m really happy to hear that you’ve found success :)

      • ronnie you are a wonderful person and your posts are so eye opening. ive done salvia mushrooms weed all that and i can tell you since then the past 5 years of my life have been full of anxiety. nothing but feelings of heart attacks and throat closing up and really i am just agoraphobic thinking i will have a panic attack all the time. because i do. they put me on all these benzos which made it worse because my body became immune to them and i started having seizures. foaming at the mouth seizures. i know it was because of all the drugs, mushrooms, acid, coke, ecstasy, salvia.. the whole 9. i’m in the same boat as you and i feel where youre coming from. i only hope that you, me, and anyone that has been messed up because of these drugs can find ourselves again. start a clean life with no anxiety and pure happiness. i pray for you <3 hopefully we can do Denny's again sometime.

        • it’s me kailee rae by the way. mickeys friend.

        • I’m really sorry to hear that you’ve been suffering– and that you went with benzo’s; they’re a terribly hazardous substance and are very hard to come off of. I hope you’ll make strides towards health, now.

  6. This is a very inspirational story. I wish you all the best.

  7. Hey,

    I am sorry you have gone through this… that it’s still effecting you. Your story is one that needs to be told and one that is helping many others. I love reading your writing and hearing you music. You create incredible sound.
    There is help out there for you. It’s stuff that is not on the beaten path or psychiatry or medical doctors. I know cause I have used it. You’ll find it. Have faith or hope, or whatever you want to call it.
    I believe in you

    • I’ve found rock climbing, surfing, yoga, meditation, vegetable juice, and optimism to be very helpful. And now that I’m back in it, time has helped, too. :)

  8. i’m sorry that this happened, i’m glad you’re warning other people about this because after reading that i’d never try it, i always wondered.. but i can’t even handle weed, but this has closed my curiosity. i hope you can continue to find things that give you peace, my favorite part of what you wrote was “So, don’t waste your time. Follow health, knowledge, spirit and truth. I hope you’ll find something worth leading others to, and that you’ll share it with the world.”It really struck home for me. I wish you all the best!

  9. Ronnie,

    I’m so sorry you have had to endure this, but if this helps it all, let me tell you that I know of a few people which I have told your story too that have changed their mind about what they were going to do because of this. You may have saved a few lives already. So thank you for sharing

    • I’m glad to hear that, Nick. Sometimes, when a person has their mind wrapped around a certain path, it’s impossible to steer them away. But still, I feel an obligation to try– it’s the only good I can hope to make of it all.

      • Hi Ronnie hope your feeling better. Wish you the very best for you. Inspiring story lets hope other people take note of this. Take care.

  10. Ronnie

    I don’t even know where to start..this post touched me in many different ways.There’s nothing more I love then when someone comes out and tells you something personal and deep for selfless reasons in helping others like you have me.Thankyou for sharing it all and I am sorry to hear of your struggles your always in my thoughts and prayers your music as well as your words have efffected me in many ways then I can explain and thankyou for.This also closed my curiosity,I’ve also experienced /others mentioned.I was addicted to a few pain killers after an accident id show up with my pains and they’d send me out with a bag of darvocet,vicodin, and acouple other I couldn’t even tell u the names of now,they didn’t really explain anything just the hours and how many times and anxiety meds for post dramatic. I had completely stop everything including one of my positive outlets puttin a guitar down for a year cuz of wrist problems..downward spiriling I definetly was..and started abusing them.I blacked out once badly and after that I started researching I had found one of the meds I was taking was equivalent to heroin.I threw the bag away the next day and went a complete year sober with the exception of marijuana which is the only pain killer that’s worked for me cause otherwise id be in a lot everyday. I then moved& in your words lived,learned,loved and lost. All other meds aside just put me in lala land so I didn’t think about the reality of what was happening.it had been acouple of years now sice then I talked and saw many doctors,lawyers all that mess and moved fwd. Started coming to physically again using music and my writting..even found a good job working 40hr.weeks up until a few months ago I got a kidney infection,long story shortit equaled many ER\doctor trips one of which I almost didn’t survive..the morphine,norcos,lost 13lbs had to quit job.I was sick for 4 months straight as of january finally free of infection off of meds in the clear.Now just on a strict diet and waiting dr. said months to a year to fully recover from a hit like that and I pushed injuries further fighting it off.There’s a possibility I could relapse and it come back..I have. Panic attacks have never been worse when they happen,I get pains insomnia(its only 1:52am :\) and muscle spasms my mind gets tricked into thinking its back..or I get symptoms like loss of appertite,is this my mind or infection?there was a point I couldn’t eat almost anything but a bowl of applesauce taking me and hour to eat and gatorade to drink.still have to take it easy now..no dairy,spicry,sour.So I’m back to square one again waiting to get better..so I can move forward well right now I’m just trying to get my peace of mind back by soaking in music,making my own..a lot of writting,going on hike,trying to cut all the negative things out,music is something that there will always be to turn to,can’t be taken..its also why I’m here on this page too,your music has help has influenced and even as a person are so thanks Ronnie.I’m supposed to make an appointment the doctor said,I need to talk to someone about what I’ve been through,I haven’t done it yet…so I thought id start here after reading your post that you bravely shared.

    • Talking is a great place to start if you can manage to do so. It used to be that I couldn’t talk about my drug experiences because it would cause me to flash back, but after persistently trying again and again I was eventually able to get it all out.

      I’m glad that medical marijuana has helped you– I also find that it can be a blessing at times and really wish that the federal government would catch up to the needs and desires of it’s people.

      • Yeah I aslo have flashbacks and a good panic attack every now and then, it definetly wasn’t easy even getting that out.There’s plenty more to go with it,but you inspired me to do so.I know eventually ill get there too.

        Medical marijuana has helped me in so many ways definetly a blessing,I couldn’t agree with you more on that. Thanks again ron.

  11. I remember following you on tour with my friend Loc, the Action Reaction Tour. I wanted you to break through all this noise that comes out of the radio nowadays and I’m still waiting man. I know you have it in you and I’m hoping your salvia years bring you back stronger. You’re still young and the brain works wonders in it’s self repairs. I too have done salvia and wanted so bad to keep doing it. Feeling like a deck of cards being shuffled and loving the entire universe within my every fiber. It really was a good time and I can see how you would want to keep it going. I think eventually if I smoke anything again it will only be grown in the ground. Anything man made is too strong for us, and I think that’s the way nature intended it. She gave us peace and we choose to try and take it to the next level. I hope you get better bro.

    • Hey Reiner, I like your thoughts here. I agree that it’s a great deal of fun to trip out occasionally, and it can provide a lot of introspection, also. I’ve never gone too far afoul with anything directly from the soil, either. Didn’t we smoke some weed in the van after one of those shows? Maybe San Diego? :)

      Anyway, I see on FB that you’re a father now– that’s amazing. Congratulations.

    • Salvia is a plant. It grows in the ground. Your post seems to imply that Salvia is addictive. I would just like to say that it isn’t. In fact, it’s quite to the contrary. The power of the trips…can be a little too much.

  12. So… you had a bad trip, and lost your shit completely?

    You think Hunter S. Thompson never had a bad trip? Jesus christ, man the fuck up.

    • If you read any of his books, Hunter Thompson expresses mixed views on drugs, often mentioning the sorry state of many thousands of “acid casualties”. He eventually opted to shoot himself through the head rather than live another day in his own damaged mind… Just so you know.

    • Hey Anonymous, you have never experienced any type of pain in your entire life. Yes, I am TELLING YOU THIS WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING YOU. You don’t even know what pain is.

  13. The Anxiety you speak of, I’ve been there. I used to smoke weed heavy when I was a junior in high school. Well I stopped for about 3 years when I got sent to Boarding school. (I wasnt able to get it out there). Well, when I came back to California I trie smoking again….Let me tell you, I wasnt prepared. Im sure it wasnt laced…all of my friends who had been smoking were fine, but me…I dont know if it was the strength or not, but that sent me into a severe panic attack, something I had never experienced before. that was 3 1/2 years ago. From smoking weed…crazy I know, smoking weed could send me in to a panic attack, but let me tell you, every day after was a struggle, I had to fight with myself, I went through, sleep paralysis…Crazy dreaming, the fears…everything. Even though I have not taken Salvia, my mind opened as if I had, I dont believe that anything was laced in the weed, I just believe I physched myself out. I remember for a whole summer, plummeting into deep depression, I didt go out much, removed myself from society, and battled myself every day. Looking for clues answers and help. I stand today as a man who over came it all. I took my fears head on, it got to a point where I would be afraid to sleep, afraid of what my dreams would hold. I said one day, fuck this, Im not going to spend my whole life being afraid to sleep, I need sleep, so this can kiss my ass haha. I confronted my worst fears, my dreams. I developed other anxietys but found a way to pound through them all. Panic attacks which for sometime would over come me, no longer stop me or come into fruition any more. I havent had one in a year and a half, doesnt mean they dont try to creep up every now and then but I just control it, I dont drink alcohol or smoke (obviously) anymore. and I from time to time have a glass of wine and such, I dont abuse anything! I would suggest trying acupuncture, a place I would recommend would be a place near the marina in redwood city, worked wonders for me. But I would really reccommend just facing your fears, dont allow fear to consume your life, most times your fears are distorted anyways, I came back from what I dealt with it took me 2 years. I cant get those years back but the knowledge Ive gained from going through it is extremely valuable. I think you can get back, when you convince yourself of something its true for you, the brain is a funny thing, and we make our own realities. You can choose to allow things to ruin you or lift you up, I have learned how to look at the positive side, yet still being a realist, best of look to you Ron. By the way, I appreciate you always taking the time to hear my music when I ask that of you, that means a lot, and surely you dont have to do that, all is appreciated and good luck on your journey, if you ever need any guidance on that journey or want to talk to someone who has been there and done that and came out the other side you can always find me on facebook at facebook.com/officialcachrisanthony . God Bless

    • Hey Chris, I’ve definitely had those heavy marijuana experiences– I used to be very reckless with it, and then like you, I quit for a couple years. Whenever I go back to it, I have to be very careful to only smoke a minuscule amount. It’s better that way, anyhow. Moderation is bliss. :)

  14. Ronnie, I just want to say thank you so much for sharing your story. It’s one of those stories that I just wish I could share with every single person I meet. I’m not really sure how to express how much reading this affected me. All I can say is that I wish you the best and I hope you’re doing well.

  15. Thank you for sharing your story Ron. My friend contacted me and thanked me for sharing the article and told me he had similar issues when he used Salvia a lot. His comment was “I also experimented pretty heavily with this for a few months and it messed me up for years after. I am glad you posted this and can see how someone else was permanently affected by it since most people dont believe me. I still love it and do it here and there but moderation is key.”
    I know more than one of my friends have experimented with Salvia Divinorum and I know on my and their behalf I was very happy that you shared what happened to you, although what you had to experience is awful. But I would like to thank you because I have been thinking about experimenting with a couple of things but this has made me rethink everything. Not so much Salvia, but shrooms and a couple of other things.. just to try. What have been your experiences with shrooms? I’d like to thank you for being so detailed in your post. I can imagine it was probably pretty difficult to write. I remember in NYC when you talked about how you can’t drink or anything anymore because it makes you paranoid – now it makes more sense why you feel those things when you alter yourself with mere weed or alcohol.

    • Mushrooms can be a very enjoyable experience, but I’d recommend that anyone planning on making that decision invest plenty of time in meditation practice leading up to it. You’ll also want to pick your location very carefully, and build your expectations (positive ones) going into it.

      Lastly, don’t take too much. Some people take half an 8th, but I’d recommend half of that. Just one or two caps to start, and be patient, because lots of people make the mistake of upping their dose when they fail to see a quick effect.

      Also, because this is a very special kind of experience, keep it that way: sacred. Don’t do it more than a couple of times– and then move on with your life. Or don’t do it at all– but either way, take it very seriously and be careful :)

  16. I’ve got to say, I really enjoyed reading this. Not because I’ve had any bad experiences with drugs or anything, but because I love when people raise awareness where it’s really needed. Also, it’s something that you’ve dealt with personally, not just something you decided to “follow”. This post leaves a lasting impression that’s for sure.

    Another thing I love about this post is that it’s something you’ve dealt with personally that you’re trying to raise awareness for. Sharing your experiences helps a lot of others to learn about this stuff in a way that’s easier for them not only to comprehend, but to relate to. I know I definitely won’t be trying that shit. Haha. :]

    I’m glad that so many people have benefited from this post, and I hope many more will.

  17. I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. I tried it three times. Each time, yearning to get a good trip but I never did. They were all the same, terrifying trips. The only way I can really explain it is that my life was much like a movie, like the ones in theaters where it’s wrapped up on a spool. Everything was just flowing so well like I knew every single thing that was about to happen. After those times that I tried it, everything was fine for about 2 months. I didn’t start having panic attacks until my first salvia flashback as I call it. I was smoking a bowl of just normal weed with my friends in the car. I started feeling the strange sensation that I did when I was on salvia. I bit my friend, started screaming and tried to just out of the car. After several attempts of trying to calm me down, I finally asked them, ‘why the fuck would you give me salvia again?’ They just looked at me like I was insane. I then realized that they smoked also and I even packed the bowl with the weed that I had been smoking all day. I started questioning every aspect of life and why we’re here. I was convinced that maybe I was dead, in a coma, or part of some experiment. Later that day, I started freaking out again. I ended up running down my street (not sure why I was running) until my dad caught up to me. I was in the hospital a few days as they tried to figure out what was wrong with me. They told me I had a bad reaction to weed, but I knew it was something else. I’m doing all the research I can trying to figure out life basically. I watch documentaries constantly and I’ve even convinced myself that the world is going to end this year (the end of my filmstrip more or less.) It was been 8 months since I last did salvia and every single say I have multiple panic attacks. The way I physically see things is just different, like its not even real. Something is terribly wrong with me and I can’t go a single day without thinking about it. My friends and family members don’t enjoy spending as much time with me anymore because it’s all I want to talk about. I have just never experienced something so mind blowing. I have done acid, shrooms, ecstasy and coke but none of them measure up to how much salvia changed me. When I first tried it, it was legal in my state. I’m trying to spread awareness about this drug so that others know the dangers of it. I’m so glad I could relate, thank you.

    • I think it’s really important to get this stuff out of stores and back into the hands of a very select group of shamanistic individuals. I’m sorry to hear that you’re having lasting effects, but maybe with enough people complaining we can enact some change, soon.

      • This drug should only be used by those who can handle hallucinogens very well and are trying to get a spiritual discovery out of it. I honestly did it because I was bored and did not expect to get the trip I did. I’ve seen multiple trips of people laughing and losing control of their motor skills and that is what I wanted. I didn’t think I would be the one to get a terrible, life changing trip. Sorry, I’m rambling. It’s just really hard to find people who understand. Most of my friends think it’s crazy that I still stress about it but it’s only because I still have flashbacks and have awful panic attacks from it. It’s just slightly comforting to know that I am not alone.

  18. I had done salvia a few times. Every time it was the heaviest one we could find. My worse experience (none of them were ever good) had me packing what we called a Donkey Kong barrel (as it looked like the ones on the classic game and was quite massive). We packed it full and I cleared it out in one massive rip on a pretty good size bong. As I layed on the bed with my good friends around me I as well seen the universe and everything that was fall apart as I felt I had just been lied to my whole life. I went to the edge of the bed and looked out in to what appeared as space. When I looked back my friends were demons that were laughing hysterically at me. I then felt like I was stuck in a film strip trying to climb out but every time i tried, I hit the top of the frame and was pushed back in. That was the last day I remember ever having complete peace of mind. It took me forever to gain all my functionality back and mental state. Theres definitely some things missing since that. Not sure what, but something. I as well believe this stuff to be completely harmful. I’ve never heard of one experience where someone actually enjoyed it. If weeds illegal most everywhere…. I wonder how the hell this stuff got by. This shits ridiculous and is completely harmful. Maybe not health wise, but mental state wise, and it will screw your train of thought. Take it from Both these stories

    • Thanks for voicing in, Jonathan. I’m sorry to hear that you’re still feeling misadjusted from your experience, but I hope it’s been improving with time.

    • “This shits ridiculous and is completely harmful.”

      You smoked an enormous amount of it. You’re an idiot.

    • dude you are stupid, i’ve smoked salvia hundreds of times and the “breakdown” effect your talking about is simply your brain being able to understand THIS reality to a higher degree.

      Don’t kid yourself and try to scare the community with your pussy “i can’t handle psychadelics” mindset

      I’ve done SALVIA, MUSHROOMS, hundreds and hundreds of times.
      It does nothing but open your mind to the true reality.

      If you deny the true reality, then your a fake, fraud,


  19. Finally someone is beginning to speak out on the dangers of this stuff. I was prescribed ADD medications in the form of Amphetamines. If you take those in large enough amounts you can really get a massive trip. The drugs they are giving kids these days are very dangerous because the Amphetamines just lead to a mental breakdown and the destruction of my relationship with my parents. I am still dealing with the mental after affects today. Sometimes I get massive panic attacks and the drug like feelings surge over me again, it can be hard to keep track of schedules and to be relaxed in public places. Also, watch out for Nutmeg, Caffeine and too much sugar if you are panic prone. Nutmeg in large enough amounts will cause drug memories to be released again, making you relive the traumatic feelings…

    • I know a few people who have been addicted to Adderall, and it’s painful to watch that struggle. I hope you’re on a healthy path, now, and that you’ll find yourself restored, soon.

  20. Hey i hope this doesn’t impare your music playing because you are amazing and i am thankful i ever heard falling for you on pandora a year ago because your songs are amazing. I hope we can hear more from you soon when you get better.

    • All sorts of different things set us back, but music is a therapy for me, so regardless of what difficulties I end up facing, I’ll likely always try to work through them in song :)

  21. Wow. You deleted my post? How very mature of you. There was nothing offensive about it. There were no harsh words or language. While I understand this is your blog site, do you really only want to spin things one way? This speaks volumes about the type of person you are, and what you’re really pushing here. You know, you may be able to delete posts from your blog, but you can’t do it everywhere. What’s next, Ronnie Day? Burning books? And your mom is a teacher, too. I’m just stunned. I wish you all the best. Your narrow-minded views will be this world’s undoing.

    • I appreciate your understanding of my rights to creative control…

      As one who pays server bills and built this website, I do my best to keep everything I publish positive and uplifting…. I deleted your comment because I felt that it had a negative tone (I feel the same way about this current thread).

      Don’t worry too much, though. I doubt this sort of thing will do much towards undoing the world…

  22. Ronnie,

    That was a very moving post. I too have had my share of psychedelic journeys and Salvia is without a doubt the most brutal. Without going into too much detail the somewhat massive dose that really knocked me off my rocker began with me being suspended in an infinite darkness while everything I saw in front of me was violently ripped away. I had died to the point that there was no “I” left. It was a terrifying experience and for months after I was having trouble sleeping, hell… I was having trouble closing my eyes! The images and sounds would just come rushing back. I promised myself to never touch the stuff again and see if I could recover.

    It’s been a hard road but as you know, it does get better. Salvia is a harsh teacher. It seems to really only communicate with “Tough Love” as opposed to Cannabis, LSD or DMT which seem to have a (mostly) more loving approach. But I honestly believe it is not a permanent damage. Through concise and thoughtful self-analysis, re-living the experience from a different view, and the good old passage of time you can start to move on with your life and regain that feeling of peace of mind you once had. In the psychedelic community it is refereed to as “integration”. Taking the horrible experience of a bad trip and using it to grow as a person.

    Myself personally, I spent so much time looking back at that trip and with enough determination I was able to understand it was ultimately a positive experience. The blackness I saw was in fact my own mind, a manifestation of things I had blacked out throughout childhood, or refused to acknowledge ever happened. The Salvia forced itself into my mind and opened up my closet, letting all the skeletons fall out. It was a mess… but it was necessary.

    I guess all I’m trying to say is don’t feel that you’re completely wrecked for the rest of your life. You can choose to find that inner serenity again, you can realize that you are in fact and indestructible spirit, and you can understand that although it appears horrifying – these plants can open up doors for you to become the greatest, most loving person you can be.

    Smile on brother, and rest easy.

    • I love this response, J, and I agree completely. Integration has been much more difficult than I ever imagined it would be, but it’s definitely proving to be possible. Thanks for voicing in– I hope you’ll travel well and keep in touch.

  23. You’re changing lives for the better, Ronnie. Keep on keeping on. Bless you.

  24. I love the last paragraph…

    “Please, live boldly, take risks, and explore the world in which you are so blessed to be living. But don’t waste your time on worn-out paths that have been shown to lead nowhere”

    Thanks for sharing your hard times… i know its not easy to spill your guts to the world.

    • I gotta say I was very curious about Salvia. Still am, but because of this blog I will never try it. One of the main reasons: I am agnostic, true, I do lean toward there being no god than there being one but I take comfort in the maybe being there. When I die I expect the nothingness. If there is an afterlife then it will be a bonus. I am not afraid to die. When I was researching salvia trips I kept hearing about “ego death.” Sounded incredible, even if it was unpleasant. I read about somebody being damaged spiritually by salvia. I imagine this is because they “died” during their trip. I think I am unafraid to die because I don’t know what it is like, not that a salvia induced “ego death” is what it’s actually like to die, no one can know, but it’s all about believing that’s what it’s like. If you experience “ego death” you will likely think that that is what dying is actually like. That sounds horrible, to know what death feels like. You’d be living life constantly aware of your death heading for you. We as humans are blissfully unaware of our death creeping toward us. We have to be. It’s what let’s us live a happy life. If that ignorance were taken away it would be awful. Another thing that has stopped me in my tracks is the fact that a salvia trip feels more real than this reality we live in. I am fascinated and at the same time terrified by this. I don’t want that constant battle inside my mind about which reality is the real one. I am still fascinated and very curious about salvia, but your story has me headed for the hills. I promise to myself right here and now: I will never use salvia for as long as I live. Thank you for writing this article, there are very few cautionary tales about salvia on the internet and I feel lucky that I found this one.

  25. Hey Ronnie,

    A long time ago you and I used to write emails to one another, when myspace was young and I found your music. Then one day you didn’t write anymore. I wonder if I am in the category of the forget parts.

    In any case, I wanted to share the opposite of this spectrum. I have been a visual artist all my life. When I was in high school and college there were many people who tried to push drugs and alcohol on me and could not—I take that back—would not understand why I refused. I would be cornered (literally) at a part and be forced to listen to a million people talk about how I could “free my mind” and “experience the world like never before”. They would ask: “How can you call yourself an artist and never have done drugs?” And my simple reply was that I had seen what it has done to people.

    I actually have an older brother who got mixed up with drugs and alcohol when we were young. He was taken away when I was in third grade and it broke my heart. He tore my family apart and cursed us all for caring—until the day my father died. I don’t know if he had made a promise to himself that day or if he just couldn’t stand everything he had put everyone through but he worked hard to change his life. He went back to school. He graduated high school and went on to college. I’m not saying it was a miraculous recovery—he faltered and fell to the same habits for a stint here or there. Even today he admits it is an everyday battle. He is now a physics teacher and AA buddy.

    From that day in third grade, when my parents dragged him away punching, kicking and screaming, I swore I would never do any of the things he did to become that way. That I would do it better for him—because in my heart I knew he didn’t want this. He was reaching for something more in his life and this is unfortunately what he could grasp. I refuse to explain this to people at parties or social situations because frankly it is none of their business. But, I will say that I have spent countless hours with people attempting to temp me and getting angry with my refusal.

    Today I am an artist in what people call “real life”. I am a painter and I have made it very far in comparison with those I went to school with. I work on my craft every day and I am one hundred percent drug and alcohol free. I want you to know that it is never too late to start over. It doesn’t have to take a love one dying for someone to see that. This world and this life are merely what you make of them; nothing more, nothing less. To say you have “wasted” or “lost” time may not be true either. Perhaps because of who you are and what you do, this experience can help you to guide others and maybe safe some people from themselves.

    I often wonder what my life may have been like if I had gotten mixed up with drugs. I can’t say that I have not thought about smoking pot or drinking and how “harmless” it would be… but I remember the nights of screaming and binder my brother, my idol, threw at my head in the heat of rage and I refuse to be that way. I will be kind. I will be generous. I will listen and learn, and if someone wishes I will teach. But mostly, I will live.

    And you will too. You need only remember why you want to live, and how to live will follow.

    I am sorry to hear about your misfortune and I honor your courage for sharing it in such a public domain. I really do love your music and it has often been an inspiration for my work.

    I hope this letter finds you well,

    • Sorry I hadn’t Proof read before sending:

      I would be cornered (literally) at a PARTY*…
      …and maybe SAVE* some people from themselves.
      ….and THE* binder my brother…

    • Hey Gabriele,

      The funny thing is, you’ll actually have a more interesting perspective to share as one who has never tried any recreational substances, because the majority of us seem to go the other way. You should link to some of your art so I can check it out. :)

  26. Okay, many of the comments on here, the stories, usually do not cite the Salvia concentration they used, or mention using a high concentration. Salvia is not meant to be used that way.

    What you are doing, and what the original poster of this story did (and paid for) was severely misuse and abuse a very important plant.

    I have had two experiences with Salvia. Each were extremely horrible. You get over it. Salvia does not affect people like this if used in a proper dosage, say, half a bowl of 10x, and it must be smoked by a mentally stable person.

    What I think is the issue behind many of these “fucked up by Salvia” cases were mental and emotional instability brought to the forefront by the drug. Many people who use Salvia for non-spiritual use find themselves never touching it. I simply wanted to experiment, and see how far things could be taken.

    The original poster has my eternal pity, but I would like for him to confirm that the fault was not Salvia- it was him. Benedryl taken in high doses can also result in traumatic and horrifying trips, and it’s sold over the counter. There are many drugs out there with more potential for abuse and less potential for benefit than Salvia.

    For now sir, you have my pity eternally. I understand how difficult your situation is, but I do not believe the fault was the drug. I believe that you severely misused Salvia, and that you may have had some pre-existing condition that it brought to the surface. It’s also possible that all of your effects are placebo in a sense, a powerful delusion, maybe.

    I would appreciate if you posted the concentration of Salvia which was used (I’m assuming 100x), and possibly the amount of Salvia. Then that could be weighed alongside common doses used for Salvia, and to doses of other drugs. Then it could be properly demonstrated to any reader that if you had taken an equivalent dose of any prescription drug or over the counter drug which is commonly abused, you would have suffered perhaps more harm.

    You do have my pity, you really do. Despite my horrible experiences I can recognize the power and potential of Salvia. I swear to God though, if you ever appear before State legislators in any state to share your story, contempt will be all that will be felt.

    Salvia can make people change themselves for the better. Or it can go the other way. It’s a roll of dice, and the ignorance of others should not cost the better-suited their toss of the dice.

    • You really don’t need to be a mentally stable individual to appreciate salvia divinorum. The more rigidly grounded in reality you are, the more likely you are to lose your shit when you feel yourself being torn away from it. Mental fluidity is what’s key.


  27. Maybe you shouldn’t have abused drugs? duh.

  28. So…you did a powerful dissociative drug in horrendous quantities and on one particular occasion decided, by your own admission while drunk (nice going, Einstein) to completely abuse yourself with a dose far beyond ridiculous – and YOU BLAME THE DRUG????? Wow, dude, you are an incredible asshole and I don’t feel one bit of sorry for you.

    Want to know who is responsible for your fractured psyche? Look in the fucking mirror. YOUR incredible irresponsibility did this. Salvia DID not do this. That’s like blaming the car instead of the driver in a hit and run scenario.


    • I haven’t read this post in a while, but I don’t ever recall blaming Salvia for anything… With a few exceptions, I’ve generally regarded inanimate objects appropriately. I didn’t mean to imply that bowls of salvia are roaming the streets, forcing themselves into the lungs of innocent children. I only wanted to share an experience that I had.

    • Most ignorant thing anyone’s ever said.

  29. A pencil can also cause brain damage, if you ram it up your nose.

  30. “I took Salvia several hundred times before I finally broke down and quit.”

    There was your first mistake. Several hundred times?? Salvia is something you do a couple times and then get bored with it. Doing almost any drug that many times (except maybe pot) will have bad consequences.

  31. as a fourteen year old, this was a much more powerful anti-drug message than I’ve ever heard in school. thank you for sharing your experience and I hope that you find peace with all of this.

  32. I think the message here should have been to not take hundreds of times the reccomended dosage… drinking yourself to death on water doesnt make water a killer. The fact that confuses me, is that even though you expected a bad trip, you took so much more than i can even comprehend… why did you think that was a good idea, and then turn your mistake and make it seem like the salvia was at fault? Not trying to bash on your misfortune, i feel bad for you, but try not to make it seem like it will hurt at recommended doses.

    • I think the problem in general with psychedelic drugs is that they plant a seed of curiosity, even at very low doses. Certainly not everyone, but a fair majority of people who have had a psychedelic experience are left with more questions than answers… And this often leads to further experimentation.

      So, while it’s nice to assume that normal behavior would limit people, I think excessive curiosity is a more likely outcome. It is, after all, a curious disposition that would lead someone to try something like this in the first place.

      I do have friends who only tried it once, and didn’t suffer much beyond the boundaries of that singular experience. But I have other friends who still experience malaise and occasional “flashback” emotional states, one of whom only experimented with psychedelics on a single occasion.

      People will make their own choices in life– I simply feel a moral obligation to share my experience so that the risks are better known to all in advance.

      • The real problem is that psychedelics aren’t for those with a lot of control issues, depression, or worry (fear). They aren’t for the weak willed either. It seems like you were admittedly hiding from reality, and guess what? Now reality is far different and you can never see through your virgin eyes again. Life changes, people age, and bodies deteriorate. Instead of whining and worrying about your life, use your experiences to create some bad ass artwork or something. In short, get over it. You’re alive now. Your horrible decision making is in the past. Do something incredible. GO BIG! What is there to lose?

        • This is what I was referring to when I said I could see the parts of your ego that allowed for this to happen, it’s apparent in your writing, I will not minimize your current state of being or potential, but I will tell you that you have some major growing up to do (as we all do myself included) I feel like you need ANOTHER ego death possibly, cause it may be that the parts you came back with were the parts you needed to get rid of the most. You’re clearly very much attached to this reality, you’ll keep being born until you go through what you have to go through to lose attachment to this material existence, the Buddhists say life is suffering and only freedom from attachment and from sense satisfaction and desire will we achieve peace. You have a big lesson to learn, you had all these ideas of what it meant to be an artist or what it means to be enlightened, I’m telling you now, the day you are crying and simultaneously thanking and apologizing to Salvia for everything she gave you is the day you will heal. I’ve been trying to explain exactly what it is that I see regarding you, your ego and the lesson I see in store for you but I’m not doing to well because I’m trying to minimize my egos influence on what I’m trying to tell you, because my ego wants to be a dick and say it the harsh way, if I don’t type it correctly, your ego will not like the content because it will offend and challenge the ego and all of its established ideas and identities that it is currently comprised of, it’s a natural response, the ego loves drama. But basically, we’ll not basically, I know what I’m about to say is somewhat wrong, there may be more to you than I’m seeing or perhaps you were in a very whiny mood the day you typed this, but through the use of your language and your humor especially I can tell your a cool guy, but your definitely a little to full of yoursel, let me stop here, I realize this won’t work, my ego sucks and basically Imwhat I’m trying to say is YOU SUCK! YOU’RE EGO SUCKS AND GOT OBLITERATED BY SALVIA CUZ IT WAS BEING STUPID AND FUCKIN AROUND WITH AN OG ENTITY THAT KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK IS UP, lol egos suck but tthey are funny. Ya bro, you were ignorant, and the level of your ignorance displayed by this post you typed is a very specific kind of egoic ignorance that I’m having trouble explaining at the moment. You think you’re too smart for your own good, you think your too cool and you kinda sound like a bitch, ( and the post I wrote at the bottom of this page I wrote first, and I told you I loved you in that one, I totally mean that and stand by it,) I swear I’m not some crazy bipolar dude, I just can’t tell you what your deal is any better way at the moment,. But basically your KIND OF (emphasis on kind of cuz from what I can read of yours, I don’t think your a TOTAL AND STRAIGHT BITCH) but your a bitch none the less, you think your too cool I totally admit I can be wrong and I also totally acknowledge and agree with the fact that I am being a rude asshole, I am sorry for this, once again it’s my ego, like I said Egos suck, all egos suck, but usually when it comes to empathy, people’s emotions and behavior and putting people into to groups with classifications based on their emotions and behavior I’m always pretty spot on.

          Ultimately what you need to learn is,
          To be more humble
          To have more humility
          Realize you don’t know shit and that you have much to learn from others
          And research the symbiotic relationship between plants and humans.
          Realize your shit stinks too, your nobody, but we are all nobody which makes us somebody :)
          I love you bro sorry for sounding like a contradictory crazy asshole, but my ego totally is. I honestly hope you just giggle at this stupid post, I hope it warms your heart, if it does than everything I said about you is wrong and your totally on the right path :) if you can try to learn and laugh at this, see where I’m coming from and even agree you will begin learning one of your personal very important lessons that has yet to be, but needs to be learned :)

  33. Hey!

    First, sorry for my english, I’m portuguese.

    I just found out about you while looking for “famous” people that had been born on the say day, month and year as me. You were the only one I found, so I follow your name and heard a song written by you (Birds In A Storm), that made me think “yeah .. I can relate to what he’s feeling”, something that I usually don’t say. Now I’m in your blog and, again, the first topic I see is related with drugs, subject that made me fade away from what once was my life, or the remains of it.

    I really don’t know what to say. I could tell you how similar our experience in life is, but that would probably be misunderstood. It’s funny though, that both our hearts are profoundly scattered by a few simple but vital subjects, such as a past relationship that is missed everyday, or the lack of understanding whether what we perceive is actually others reality realm or just something we are experiencing on our own.

    So, I wanted to give you my thumbs up. I’d love to share something with you, not really sure what but I bet we could get along and find something to discuss. I’ve found some different resolutions to similar problems you mentioned, as well as I have a perception of myself that might help you understand why the fabric of reality seems so vulnerable sometimes.

    Mail me back if you’re into it, It would be nice getting to talk with you.


  34. omg this terrible salvia has hit my family right now…… he is in a bad state of mind ….will he ever come back to his right mental health ….what can we do to get this out of the usa…what are they doing to our youth……what i’m reading is not good i believe that salvia is the cause of all the killings we are having….i might be wrong ….but what the heck is happening to this world …

    • Depending on the amount used, duration, and the individual’s biology, I’m sure most people can heal from this type of mental disruption, if that is their primary focus. Exercise, a diet high in plants, yoga, meditation, and a productive routine have all helped me.

      And understand that the mind-state which drives people to experiment with drugs in the first place is what truly needs to be healed, not necessarily damage from the drugs themselves.

      As for Salvia causing murderous intent. I don’t think that’s likely from my experience with it, but it certainly isn’t safe or healthy, either.

      • Ronnie, I really appreciate your original post and its candidness, and I really felt for your situation. (Not to mention being stunned by the intensity of what you experienced.)

        But to state that salvia “isn’t safe or healthy” is a blanket statement that isn’t helpful to those who would benefit from salvia (and other plant teachers such as ayahuasca and iboga). Certainly it would seem it’s not safe or healthy when taken recklessly (ie with alcohol) in large doses. But there is also the option to chew 10 fresh leaves for 1/2 hour and feel a pleasant shift in consciousness, reorientation of energy (including rise in sexual energy), positive change in mental perspective, release of stuck emotions, detachment from rigid ego identification, access to intuitive guidance, etc.

        I have done salvia using the chewing leaves (quid) method alone maybe 12 times, and smoking 10x extract, with a sitter, 3 times. I’ve never had a bad trip, nor have I overdone it. I try to set a spiritual / self-betterment / humble intention. I respect the plant’s power; it is the teacher and I am the student seeking perspective and healing. As far as dosages, I err on the side of careful (perhaps too much!). Smoking unnerves me a little due to its super-quick onset and it seems tricky to regulate the dose exactly. Chewing results in a sustained journey, gradual in onset and fade-out. Intensity is adjustable simply by opening the eyes, moving the body and refocusing. I recommend it.

        I do not recommend it to immature people, and this is where legality and access become an issue. I wouldn’t be opposed to an over-18 law. I would be strongly opposed to total illegality, as adults should have the right to explore their minds. I first used it in my mid-30s, so I’m no spring chicken with soft grey matter. I researched it, started small, and have not abused it.

        Everyone reading this site and comments, you know you’ll have to find your own way and make your own choices. Whatever you choose, I hope you’ll stay humble, try to maintain perspective, and respect the right of others to make their choice too.


  35. Ronnie, I have been a loyal fan for years now having first heard “Written at a rest stop” an falling in love with your talent. I was working and lost touch for awhile but I’m back now and have just caught up. Wow, amazing post my friend. Your honesty continues to amaze me. I just want to add, we wouldn’t be who we are today without what we have gone through. Use that and come out on top. You will be forever successful as long as you believe. I dot have experience with drugs, but know people who have. Although difficult, you made the right choice. As always….thank you for being you. Remember, come out on top. Much love, Angelena

  36. Ronnie, I can’t tell you how much your story has touched my heart. My son recently went through everything you described so eloquently in your blog. I now feel as if I have a new mission in life. I would not wish what my son and my family went through within the past three weeks on my worst enemy. I plan on doing something about it. I am passing on your website address to as many folks as I can so they can read about the horrible things that this drug and others do to people. Hang in there my friend. You are an inspiration to me and I will pray for your recovery. Thanks for being so open and bold…

    • Do keep in mind that this moron consumed probably 100X the amount any normal person should, on probably more than one occasion, and also was intoxicated when he did this. I have used salvia twice now, both trips were… ready for this? AWESOME. INSANELY BEAUTIFUL. It literally lifted my life long depression, I feel like there is actually something to live for now, not the drug, but the realization that it brought to me. Life is short, and it’s not about the money. And it’s not what we think it is.

      It’s all perspective, I can’t help it if Ronny has issues in life, and can’t seem to moderate his own behaviors. I can drink 50 cups of coffee in a day, and probably end up hospitalized and mentally fk’d too.

      I dunno, I’m a messed up dude, I was beat as a kid, I was depressed most of my life, I’ve always had this gut feeling that I’m destined to just suck and die young, (just saying this to prove that the people saying “people with issues can’t handle it” are completely backwards, it’s the happy go lucky “TV” and money crowd that usually flips out..) but now that is pretty much gone, replaced by a sense that I’m just like everyone else, that we are all equally in the dark, and that I should enjoy it while it lasts and to fear nothing!!

      As a side note, 3 days after trying salvia for the first time, I started attending college again, and got promoted at work. Not bragging, but… Come on, I couldn’t hardly get out of bed for the 12 years since I turned 18… To me Salvia changed my life, for the better.

      Oh, I smoked the leaf form (not interested in the concentrate, I read how the shamans smoked it and I did it that way) I took probably 4-5 hits, holding each for 30 seconds or so, by the final hit my vision started going side to side, I set the pipe down, smiled at my friend, and then the walls launched into space, it was panel walls, so one panel at a time, like rocket ships! I was then looking at this beautiful space scene, stars and distant galaxies type of stuff, then I saw the formation of a planet but it was like Leggo’s flying into eachother and just automatically forming a shape, yellow orance core, brown outer layer, green / blue top layer, I remember feeling breathless and in awe. Then I was suddenly surrounded by this calm free feeling, all blackness, and then wierd old memories started flooding my visual field, no sound though, but it was like I was watching from the 3rd person, I had no sense of attachment to the person that was actually me. I just noticed that all the faces of these people that had hurt me or I had hurt were all in pain, like, they knew it was wrong, and so did the face of mine when it was involving something I did. And I just had this realization that everybody is the same, we all have mess ups, and that no one is actually mad at anyone, they just think they are.

      Also at some point I remember having this epiphony and realizing the point to all of this, existence etc, philisophical stuff. And basically it told me (this feeling I had is the “it” I refer to lol) that everything was going to be fine, and that my mistakes were not really mistakes, that there are no mistakes, and that this is what I wanted, so why am I unhappy. Which seems confusing, but for some reason it was totally obvious to me, I just thought “ya, this is what I wanted… I did it… Why am I complaining?” and then there was a part where I felt sad, like I had died, but then again, a feeling of “that’s ok” came over me. The last thing I remember was suddenly feeling like I was a page in a book, and that the whole adventure I had gone on was a book that I had read hundreds of times, it was strange indeed. A couple minutes later I start seeing the room and my friend, and he was like “DUDE, YOU were talking to people that weren’t here and you were laughing and it looked so fun”

      So then he tried it.

      He took his hits, held them, (this guy is your typical male, completely extroverted and loud, socially in-tune with all the fashions and scenes, plays all the women he encounters, lies to his friends, a dirt-bag.. ya but honestly it’s hard to find other guys that think like me, I find one in every thousand dirt-bag friends sadly) his eyes get all wide, he starts to get all panicky looking (mind you that was my first trip too) starts sobbing, talking about how he’s fucked up, then just stares at the wall with the most scared / frightened expression I’ve ever seen, white knuckles clenching his seat, on the verge of sweating, jumps up and runs around the room falling down several times, I can’t even try to contain him since he’s as big and strong as I am, lays on the floor for probably 45 minutes crying, won’t even acknowledge me, I’m ready to call his parents and poison control, so I tell him this and he sits up, and starts talking. Apparently he had a horrible experience, he thought he was going to die, and the 45 minutes of crying he was sober just so terrified by what he went through that he couldn’t even respond to me… I was like “whatever dude..*yawn* so you ok? whats up?” still to this day he won’t tell me what the trip was like, and he complains that it messed him up, he says he can’t keep girlfriends anymore, that he is now addicted to pot… Really? really? lmao.

      My advice to the author of this article is much like what several others have indicited in prior posts. You are an idiot, you did a very stupid thing, stop trying to make people hate salvia, there are just as many people that can benefit from this drug as can be negatively impacted and if you’re a selfish consumerist dollar obsessed shallow person then ya, it’s gonna make you realize that YOU ARE A SELFISH CONSUMERIST DOLLAR OBSESSED SHALLOW PERSON and you will not like it.

      Bah, peace out. Can lead a horse to water, but can’t keep him from drinking until his stomach explodes.

      Bob Dole

      • Thank you for posting this dude.
        Fuck I feel bad, If I just kept reading other people’s comments I wouldn’t have had to type out my asshole comment.
        This is exactly what I was trying to tell him. I hope he learns

  37. I havn’t tried salvia but have done quite a bit of research it is not classified as a drug but an herb and was used in ancient times. I have studied the dimensions of this world and time and space and have related them to my study on the dimensions of heaven and near death experinces they all seem to intertwine with eachother leading me to belive if you have a lot of love in your soul and completely at peace with yourself and able to let go of your earthly fears including death you will have a positive and enlightening experience and if you are in a bad place the experience will seem more like hell. It is a trip within our own phsyci and if we are properly channeled i truely believe inner peace can be found, at least thats what im hoping for it is leagal to use where i live and im going to be trying it for the first time on my next day off with a sitter present. I plan to do it smart lights off soft mello music, classical perhaps, and sit indian style grounded in meditation before my first hit. my purpose of smoking is not so much to trip and get baked but to experience a gift of our earth and maybe find myself and the meaning to life. We only use 10% of our brains this plant could have us using much larger percentage allowing the energy inside us to travel on higher frequency leaving our earthly bodies behind. we are all unique and experience everything very differently some people like rollercoasters while others are terrified by them. It is all a state of mind and comes down to your own psychi.

  38. People also need to understand that it is not ment to be used in such mass consumptions it is being used inappropriatly and when this is done it can cause bad trips and effects both mentally and physically. Salvia is not a party drug it is an herb used in meditation it has benn used for thousands of years going back to ancient times and even mentioned in the bible as a healing herb. Alcohol, vicodin oxycotin, ciggarettes, bath salts, synthetic pot, all of these are chemicals man made and all acceptable and legal when used under the right terms and dossages. My question is when did chemical become okay and socially acceptable to comsume and our green herbs and plants are now becoming demonized and outlawed? Gee I wonder when they will eliminate aloe vera not just great for burns but works well when the pulp is ingested for internal inflammation or garlic most people do not know what a great anti biotic that is. Stop being brainwashed by the propaganda and do real reasearch. Bad things happen when people do not act smart or consume outside of moderation. Let’s outlaw fast food because of the high obesity percentage in the USA. Start taking responsiblity for our own actions, if you act and do the negative you will actract it if you are positive then that is the energy force you will attract, think outside the box.

  39. I do consider all the ideas you’ve introduced in your post. They’re really convincing and can definitely work. Nonetheless, the posts are very brief for beginners. Could you please lengthen them a little from next time? Thank you for the post.

    You can certainly see your enthusiasm in the paintings you write. The arena hopes for even more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid to mention how they believe. Always follow your heart. “Faith in the ability of a leader is of slight service unless it be united with faith in his justice.” by George Goethals.

  40. This is what happens to people who have no business dealing with SACRAMENTS best left in the hands of shamans. While your story is indeed a tragic cautionary tale, this kind of thing does not happen to people who are expanding their consciousness.

    Salvia is not a party drug to be taken hundreds of times. The plant is a teacher, and unfortunately, many of you have painful lessons to learn.

  41. Hey Ronnie, thanks a lot for taking the time to post something like this, and for directing it in such a productive way. I too have considered writing something similar, I just haven’t gotten around to it. In the summer of 2011 I did salvia for the first time, 60x to be specific, and subsequently plunged into the most desperate depression imaginable. Only now have my coping mechanisms begun to solidify and only now is my life beginning to take shape again, or is seeming to resemble that of prior to the trip. For me, I only did salvia once–that was all it took. 60x was far too much for me to handle, as I’m already sensitive to intoxicants as it is. Before I could even blow the smoke out the process of my nervous system getting detrimentally shocked had begun and the deep sense of fearful regret had sunk in. The rest of the story is all too predictable, so I’ll save you from that litany. On the whole, I was put through the gauntlet, ejected, and stained with mental, and even visual–visual floaters, static, floater-like thumbprint-looking patterns–residue. I guess I don’t exactly have a real meaningful message associated with this comment, I just want to let you know that I’m thankful for what you’ve written and that you’re not in this alone, something that I’m sure is no secret to you now as you have likely read dozens of stories parallel to your own by now. I do have one question though: I’ve often wondered if some other drug could in some way reconnect me with my fundamental personality, if something could enlighten me so much as to assist me in coming to revelations and defeating demons that have served as barriers between myself and my lost state of untarnished clarity. As you’re likely assuming, I’m mainly speaking of LSD. What is your take on this idea? I know that my wishes are seemingly too good to be true, and therefore probably are not possible, but I’m willing to try anything provided I’ve been convinced of its effectiveness with sufficient evidence. If you could get back to me I’d greatly appreciate it. Much love, March.

    • I can tell you with honest certainty that sobriety can lead you to a place of peace and contentment; especially when paired with a healthy outlook, diet and lifestyle. Dedicate yourself to healing and to happiness. Make it the purpose of your life, and you’ll grow towards that. I promise.

    • Yes. San pedro cactus can help you reconnect with yourself.

    • Dude I swear to God. TRY SALVIA ONE MORE TIME, GO IN WITH NO FEAR TO WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU AND THE UTMOST RESPECT AMD ADMIRATION FOR LADY SALVIA, somebody above said something about “That’s what you get when you have no business dealing with SACRAMENTS” They were correct Salvia is a sacrament, it is sacred and Ned’s to be respected as such. Treat Salvia as you would treat your father if he was Jesus and you were living in the Vatican. The UTMOST respect. I’m telling you, you may very well come back feeling “normal”)(whatever that means)

  42. Such a scary experience! And more, just like it, in these posts. And still we’re giving each other advice about using drugs and doing it “safely?” I have seen way too many friends ruin their lives and waste their existence on drugs. The one similarity in all cases? “We’re going to do it responsibly,” every one of them said. “We’ll make sure we never go too far or let it get out of control.”

    I haven’t tried a single drug (because of my faith), and thus I acknowledge my feeble understanding. However, I think my strict avoidance gives me a clear understanding of just how unnecessary substances are in the search for happiness (which is what we are ALL seeking).

    I’m sure it feels great; helps you relax and forget your problems. But it also has the potential of making you a slave to the flesh. A process that will hurt those close to you and severely damage your ability to obtain that potential long-lasting happiness.

    Stay away from drugs. I can’t take some of these comments, encouraging drug use (even if in moderation)! Live in and learn to enjoy reality. If your reality is awful, drugs will only make it worse. They will carry you farther from happiness. Have faith in something important, ask yourself about and acknowledge the greater things of life; the things bigger than yourself, and find a reason for living – drug free.

    Sorry, couldn’t hold my opinion in. Ronnie, I honestly LOVE your music. You are such a unique artist with real talent. It is hard for me to read your blog posts in which you question your worth and ability to succeed. Look at yourself, so well known and such an inspiration to so many people! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your amazing music. Hopefully you weren’t offended by this post, I just had to comment because of what I have seen with people close to me.

  43. Do you think doing Salvia 2 or 3 times is something to be concerned about? How long ago did you quit? Are you feeling better since you posted this in February?

    • It was years ago that I went through this, and I still have trouble talking about it sometimes. I’m sure everyone is different, but it’s not something I’d recommend for anyone to try. There are much better, safer, and more enjoyable drugs to experiment with if you must.

  44. Perhaps it showed you your path if you don’t change. . . Perhaps there is a truth to be found, that you have not felt….

  45. The brain is something that we can not begin to understand today in science. I use to smoke weed every day probably 3 or more times in a day. I smoked every synthetic weed there is and would tell you never to do so. I smoked salvia and had a pretty insane trip on 10x out of a bong when I was already high off weed. I would never touch it again. The thought of going back there, is scary and no way could I handle it. The things you see, can’t un see them. I didn’t see any black holes but I did see the world melt before my eyes. I fought through it, a few weeks later all my friends smoked some weed and we all bugged out. My one friend fainted and then quickly stood up dry heaved a couple time. I was sent into a panic attack and thought I was going to die. My friend did not sleep the entire night and had chills my last friend just slept it off. We used the bong we smoked salvia out of. I’m not clear of what exactly happened that night, none of us really are. Could it have been some salvia res? Possibly. I smoked weed for the next month after and got axiety attacks from it. I smoked through that and smoke maybe once a couple of weeks now and get almost panicked but control it and am fine.

    Sorry long story and not very interesting but what I’m getting at is your mind put you into the dark space from that your salvia trip and only your mind can climb yourself out. I believe that you will make a full recovery. I know the feeling of losing interests of things, and not finding a point in things. I understand that people like us see the world differently because the things we have experinced. I sometimes look at people and think you will never understand what I have gone through and seen. I’m only 17 but feel that I’ve experienced a life of being high. You’re gonna be fine, and I truely believe that, stay head strong and keep pushing through the crap and find the one thing you live for, maybe music, a girl, find it and hold onto it and never let go.

    • “I know the feeling of losing interests of things, and not finding a point in things. I understand that people like us see the world differently because the things we have experienced.”

      Maybe I missed this post when I read responded to this article the first time, but I cannot help but comment.

      The feel of losing interests and not finding points in life happened to me long before Salvia and according to most of the people I interact with on a daily basis, they can also vouch for that.

      I know you’re only 17, but if you think this world is to be lived in with complete euphoria and happiness, I’m sorry to inform you that even money will not make that remotely possible.

      Inexperienced users of hallucinogens should not try Salvia. Period. I’ll leave it at that.


  46. I experienced the same thing you describe after
    only trying Salvia D once.What I discovered was that
    Salvia for whatever reason caused me to become chronically
    Undermethylated.You may want to look up Undermethylation (or histadelia.)
    I have since started supplementing with SAM-e(S-Adenosyl Methionine)
    I take it for three weeks twice a year and it works wonders.

  47. Do keep in mind that this moron consumed probably 100X the amount any normal person should, on probably more than one occasion, and also was intoxicated when he did this. I have used salvia twice now, both trips were… ready for this? AWESOME. INSANELY BEAUTIFUL. It literally lifted my life long depression, I feel like there is actually something to live for now, not the drug, but the realization that it brought to me. Life is short, and it’s not about the money. And it’s not what we think it is.

    It’s all perspective, I can’t help it if Ronny has issues in life, and can’t seem to moderate his own behaviors. I can drink 50 cups of coffee in a day, and probably end up hospitalized and mentally fk’d too.

    I dunno, I’m a messed up dude, I was beat as a kid, I was depressed most of my life, I’ve always had this gut feeling that I’m destined to just suck and die young, (just saying this to prove that the people saying “people with issues can’t handle it” are completely backwards, it’s the happy go lucky “TV” and money crowd that usually flips out..) but now that is pretty much gone, replaced by a sense that I’m just like everyone else, that we are all equally in the dark, and that I should enjoy it while it lasts and to fear nothing!!

    As a side note, 3 days after trying salvia for the first time, I started attending college again, and got promoted at work. Not bragging, but… Come on, I couldn’t hardly get out of bed for the 12 years since I turned 18… To me Salvia changed my life, for the better.

    Oh, I smoked the leaf form (not interested in the concentrate, I read how the shamans smoked it and I did it that way) I took probably 4-5 hits, holding each for 30 seconds or so, by the final hit my vision started going side to side, I set the pipe down, smiled at my friend, and then the walls launched into space, it was panel walls, so one panel at a time, like rocket ships! I was then looking at this beautiful space scene, stars and distant galaxies type of stuff, then I saw the formation of a planet but it was like Leggo’s flying into eachother and just automatically forming a shape, yellow orance core, brown outer layer, green / blue top layer, I remember feeling breathless and in awe. Then I was suddenly surrounded by this calm free feeling, all blackness, and then wierd old memories started flooding my visual field, no sound though, but it was like I was watching from the 3rd person, I had no sense of attachment to the person that was actually me. I just noticed that all the faces of these people that had hurt me or I had hurt were all in pain, like, they knew it was wrong, and so did the face of mine when it was involving something I did. And I just had this realization that everybody is the same, we all have mess ups, and that no one is actually mad at anyone, they just think they are.

    Also at some point I remember having this epiphony and realizing the point to all of this, existence etc, philisophical stuff. And basically it told me (this feeling I had is the “it” I refer to lol) that everything was going to be fine, and that my mistakes were not really mistakes, that there are no mistakes, and that this is what I wanted, so why am I unhappy. Which seems confusing, but for some reason it was totally obvious to me, I just thought “ya, this is what I wanted… I did it… Why am I complaining?” and then there was a part where I felt sad, like I had died, but then again, a feeling of “that’s ok” came over me. The last thing I remember was suddenly feeling like I was a page in a book, and that the whole adventure I had gone on was a book that I had read hundreds of times, it was strange indeed. A couple minutes later I start seeing the room and my friend, and he was like “DUDE, YOU were talking to people that weren’t here and you were laughing and it looked so fun”

    So then he tried it.

    He took his hits, held them, (this guy is your typical male, completely extroverted and loud, socially in-tune with all the fashions and scenes, plays all the women he encounters, lies to his friends, a dirt-bag.. ya but honestly it’s hard to find other guys that think like me, I find one in every thousand dirt-bag friends sadly) his eyes get all wide, he starts to get all panicky looking (mind you that was my first trip too) starts sobbing, talking about how he’s fucked up, then just stares at the wall with the most scared / frightened expression I’ve ever seen, white knuckles clenching his seat, on the verge of sweating, jumps up and runs around the room falling down several times, I can’t even try to contain him since he’s as big and strong as I am, lays on the floor for probably 45 minutes crying, won’t even acknowledge me, I’m ready to call his parents and poison control, so I tell him this and he sits up, and starts talking. Apparently he had a horrible experience, he thought he was going to die, and the 45 minutes of crying he was sober just so terrified by what he went through that he couldn’t even respond to me… I was like “whatever dude..*yawn* so you ok? whats up?” still to this day he won’t tell me what the trip was like, and he complains that it messed him up, he says he can’t keep girlfriends anymore, that he is now addicted to pot… Really? really? lmao.

    My advice to the author of this article is much like what several others have indicited in prior posts. You are an idiot, you did a very stupid thing, stop trying to make people hate salvia, there are just as many people that can benefit from this drug as can be negatively impacted and if you’re a selfish consumerist dollar obsessed shallow person then ya, it’s gonna make you realize that YOU ARE A SELFISH CONSUMERIST DOLLAR OBSESSED SHALLOW PERSON and you will not like it.

    Bah, peace out. Can lead a horse to water, but can’t keep him from drinking until his stomach explodes.

    Bob Dole

    • Much like the real Bob Dole you are a moron.
      Lots of people have benefited from Antibiotics
      and just as much have been cripple by them.You
      needed a drug to tell you that life is short,and
      it’s all not about money?! You couldn’t figure that out
      for yourself?
      You speak of this thing
      called money with contempt,the TV money crowd,etc,but
      at the same time you’re going to college…?? Why?
      Let me guess,so you can make more money…?
      And then you mention your promotion at work? Why would
      you care about a promotion if money wasn’t important to you? Lol!!
      It isn’t
      the TV money crowd or this or that crowd(grow up,really) that
      flips out, it could be anyone.Yes,that’s right anyone
      can have a bad trip and suffer damages because of it.You
      call this person your friend yet you mock his experience with
      Salvia because you think yours was more important because it was positive?

      “Oh well, he had a bad trip, fuck him,sucks for him.”
      You obviously don’t love or care about anyone or anything in this life but yourself,
      because if you did you would not want there to be ANY CHANCE that
      they gamble there minds away on that shit.I was like you once with
      the “me against the world,” delusional idealistic bullshit mentality.But guess what? Twenty years of your life will go by after reading this,it will,it will pass by
      like the blink of an eye and if you don’t play your cards well
      you will be eating dog food out of a can while living in a cardboard box
      wishing you were part of the “TV money crowd.”

      “You can be young without money,but you can’t be old without it.”
      ― Tennessee Williams

      • It seems that you would benefit from a salvia trip. I would bet that the reality you would be forced into would be one were you’re attacked and hated. Why do i think this? Because that is your mentality friend, Salvia gives you the reality you conform to and i hope you can look past yourself and actually try and help people, instead of attacking them.

    • Amen! You respect salvia. And salvia shows you love,truth and gives you wisdom

  48. That’s funny my name is Nick too, I write music too, and I as well did salvia a lot, around 100 times.

    I understand exactly what you said, except I take it as it seperated me from my physical body so I could understand the world beyond myself.

  49. I would certainly not blame the Salvia Divinorum for any of your suffering.
    If you would have taken it responsibly and respectively, than none of this would have happened.
    Substances cannot be blamed, all of the fault lies within the person and his decision.
    This is your fault. Not the Salvia’s.

  50. You abuse as salvia , salvia will abuse you. I have taken salvia many times in moderation and it has only benefitted me, plus salvia is a kappa-opiate receptor antagonist that’s long term memory if any effect not concentration or short term memory. Use it respectfully as the mazetecs have and you will not be harmed. You have suffered shamans revenge…do not blame the Divine mother

  51. I am sorry that you have suffered. But think about it ,salvia has cleaned you up. It can be a harsh teacher . But I urge you to something for me. Sit down ,close your eyes and say: divine mother, I am listening, then you will feel the trip and she will talk to you ,then she shall help you, don’t be afraid , I hope this helps you. But I urge you to scare people more people off salvia because the more the wrong people use it for the wrong reasons….the more vindictive she will get

    • If anyone received brain damage from doing Salvia, it’s people like this. No offense. Just because you see something when you’re tripping on a drug doesn’t make it real.

      Sorry to inform you… I just can’t stand people who give hallucinogens a bad reputation.


  52. I used Salvia a couple of times, and even though there are no articles about how bad it is, I really feel there is something evil in it. Maybe it’s just me who is not spiritually prepared for it. But I feel something really evil in it. And by evil, I don’t mean usual brain damage caused by Ecstasy and such. I mean something damaging the soul. My last trip brought up some fears and thoughts from the early childhood, which I don’t remember having, even now. So, either it really made me remember them, or it made me think I had them; I simply don’t know. It fucked up my perspective of myself in some ways. And I used the regular dose, and it fucked me up with the fourth use! So anyone who thinks it’s harmless and that 13 year olds should use it after school is WRONG! Either you go with all that spiritual preparment or don’t use it all. It’s not a thing to play with. For me, 4 uses of this so-called harmless drug, brought more problems than 5 uses of Ecstasy, about 10 uses of Amphetamine and an infinite number of Marijuana uses, which are proven to cause damage. It’s not about how many brain cells it kill or doesn’t kill, it’s about how it affects you as a person.

  53. Sorry to say, but this could of happened with any of the psychedelics you were using. Think of it this way if you took say over a 100 doses of mushrooms you could of easily had a seizure or worse, so salvia is actually pretty safe when used properly. Also salvia isn’t something you use to have a good time and get high. Salvia is a spiritual shamanic herb. It’s sad to see it being sold at smoke shops everywhere and online. It needs to be something kept in tight circles for the right people to find. Shame to see all these kids and people disrespecting this sacred plant.

  54. I agree with Mike. Salvia is not a party drug. You should never try it after having some alcohol. I did once after 2 beers and “learnt my lesson with the hot stove”.

    You need a quiet and dark place. Short mediation or relaxation always helps to clean your mind. If there is more people, dont talk if you dont need to and after hit dont try to move either. Then go and look how deep the rabbit hole goes.

  55. No one, no one tries saliva several hundred times. People who do it repeatedly don’t abuse it, because it hurts. It isn’t pleasant, it turns your world upside down and makes you leery of doing it again. Anyone who says they have done it several hundred times has obviously never even tried it.

  56. As you said, some part of you that hates yourself decided to smoke what amounted to a hundred xs the amount you could have taken in order to simply enjoy the effect. So, now that that loaded a bowl with 100x salvia, or whatever the hell you did, we really appreciate the warning. Somewhere, there is a guy in an advert warning people not to drink and drink, after he or she got loaded to the gills and plowed into a full school bus.

  57. hey ronnie don’t know if it’s too late to post but i take heed to your article here. I actually got here from google searching “i dont enjoy smoking weed anymore after salvia”
    see, i have been an avid pot smoker over the past year. with small phases of everynight smokes to just a few times a week. about one month ago after my girlfriend left my house i decided to smoke. I had some potent dro and ripped a hit off my helix. I had earlier in the day thought of the bag of salvia i bought a while back and had only smoked a few times. (it was “red” or the middle of potency in this brand) i had convinced myself i’d smoke it directly after my initial bowl of pot. once i finished the bowl my heart began to race (as it is now just thinking about it) out of nervousness of “slipping into the other side” (as i hoped would happen). my mistake was here most likely, apart from deciding to do it intially, i said “stop being a pussy and just do it already” i loaded it and sat by my cracked window. a HUGE stress is that i was smoking in my room out the window, worried for the draft of air to carry the smoke into the hallway where my parents might catch me with the door locked and even worse in a such a state from the salvia. (once again my heart begins to pound just thinking of it) anyways, i remember as soon as the flame hit the leaves and i saw smoke i thought “no turning back now”. i ripped one heavy hit and held it in as long as i could. I felt the effects (absolutely no visuals, just as before) and immediately became very panicked. i felt as if i was in multiple dimensions in which one of them i was walking in my room silently (which i was) but the other i was running down my hallway screaming at the top of my lungs. i remember feeling such a terrifying fear that the latter one was the reality and i’d be so screwed by my parents. as you well know salvia lasts a few minutes. hell no!!! not after a bowl of potent cannabis directly before. i was desperately hoping the effects would go away. THREE hours later i was still suffering in my mental asylum, in my room, trying to keep quiet and hope my mother wouldn’t come, with the exact same intensity! it never seemed to end. i decided to attempt to sleep it off which lead to the most ghastly experience and fear i had ever felt in my life. the feeling of impending doom and an eminent death. as i lay there hoping to go to sleep, my heart began to feel as if it wasn’t pumping. my breaths were slowly dissipating and i feared so much that i would die in my sleep. I suppose this is what you can relate to and i feel greatly for you if this is what you experience on the regular. it’s 4 in the morning and i prayed to god my girlfriend would answer my call, for i was heavily considering going to my mother in consolation from fear of dying in my sleep.
    She answered and we talked. i sounded extremely panicked and it even scared me talking to her at sometimes because of how off i felt. it was hard to even remotely begin to explain to her my feelings and carry a conversation. The great consolement was that i was communicating with someone in the real world. I felt apart of reality again while talking to her. it was truly the worst experience ever. after an hour and a half i let her goand hoped i could sleep agian. i couldn’t . i still felt it, though not as bad. i watched tv for another hour and next thing i knew i woke up in the morning fuzzy headed and so thankful to be alive.
    ever since then, i have tried smoking marijuana a few times and it brings me to a state of out of place and even worse, at night i cant sleep because i feel my breathing is going away. its as if my body forgets it has to take a deep breath and i have to remind it. i dont know what you could tell me about that. i know that i enjoyed smoking marijuana. but i cant enjoy it anymore. it’s like i dont even remember why or how it made me feel that i enjoyed it. i just know i really did enjoy it.
    this past weekend i smoked with my friend and came home. the exact same feeling of not breathing happened so bad i had to call my girlfriend. we talked, it didn’t go away and when i checked to feel my heartbeat i could feel it going away till i coudln’t feel it. that was truly alarming. i resorted to coming clean to my mom about that night and hung out with her in hopes that it’d go away. i eventually got to sleep. the next night (i haven’t smoked since) i tried going to sleep and the same feeling. no intoxication what so ever and i couldn’t breath. I think it is anxiety related, though i have NEVER suffered from anxiety like this, or at all really for that matter. sorry for the novel but i have been wanting to post about this for quite some time and your article was an informing read and made me want to open.
    i’m ok with going clean. i lived for 17 years just fine and dandy without it, i don’t need it to live. i guess what i want is just to know that someday, maybe when i’m much older and have no stresses, will be able to toke up and enjoy life and the feeling it gave.
    best of luck to you.

    • Hey Danny,

      It’s a funny coincidence: just last night I rode my bike across town to the marijuana dispensary where I used to buy pot. I thought that maybe I wanted to smoke, just a little bit. But when I got there, my heart began to race and I knew it would cause a flashback. So, I turned around and rode home, convincing myself all the way that the natural high of riding my bike was enough.

      Ever since my heavy experimentation with salvia, I haven’t been able to smoke weed, either. I was completely sober for one year, and today I only enjoy drinking a few beers.

      I wish I could tell you otherwise, but for me it had the same effect. I used to love smoking weed, and today, even years later, the thought of it makes me nervous and sick.

      • is it possible that you just couldn’t handle it? I know a lot of times with DMT people will shut down for months after the experience because something was shown to them that they wouldn’t accept. My advice is to try a small dose again and search for whatever caused all this. Find the root cause and fix it.

  58. is it possible that you just couldn’t handle it? I know a lot of times with DMT people will shut down for months after the experience because something was shown to them that they wouldn’t accept. My advice is to try a small dose again and search for whatever caused all this. Find the root cause and fix it.

  59. bad advice jay, i wouldn’t try it again ronnie. (like i have to tell you that)
    i’m not trying to be mean to anyone but i believe the smarter you are, the worse a salvia trip can be. The more aware you are of true reality, the scarier the trip can become. i know dummies that can hit salvia all day and be fine, it depends on the person. you have to remember we have the same brain we had when we were swimming in ancient oceans, it’s just evolved. every experience humans have had for millions of years is still embedded in our dna. you went to places in your brain that are no longer traveled. i long to try salvia but know i can’t. :(
    i think you should seek post traumatic stress disorder therapy, the unorthodox kind. it’s ironic that a “drug” may heal your mind. with a therapy treatment involving MDMA maybe you could finally leave this behind you? just a thought…

  60. You are a typical loser who blames plants for all your misfortunes, the plants which were scientifically proven to have healing powers. Ever bothered to look up scholarly articles on Google Scholar regarding the benefits of these plants? It’s your and only your problem that you are a loser, who abused these medicines, and worse of all, you abused your medicines with alcohol, which is worse than sinful, and now you want us to think that anything you have to say has any credibility? Please! Does anybody take responsibility for their actions anymore these days? The world is full of pathetic losers like you. Sorry, but you deserve everything that happened to you. I am sorry to inform you, but you had a brain damage before you started taking these meds.

    • Wow. You need compassion in your life.

    • He simply took to much forgetting the sacredness of Salvia Divinorum. It is beautiful, she’s a healer, but If you keep her respect, otherwise she’s gonna fuck you up. Abusing Salvia got him where he is. He does not deserve it, but I find him to be very naive if he blames the plant, when he made the choices. Peace.

  61. I recently tried Salvia (60x) and the trip was no where near “scary” or “unpleasant” by any means, in fact it was rather amazing. I tripped harder on Saliva than any other hallucinogen in the book, and I’ve tried them all.

    To give people an idea, I felt like I screenshot my vision, completely froze the room and then could walk through layers of the picture. I then remembered infinitely zooming in to my computer monitor, basically infinitely expanding the particles until I was completely in another universe. It felt like the experience lasted hours yet it was only a mere 15-20 minutes.

    Will I do Salvia again? Definitely. As others have stated, however, this is not a party drug. Don’t expect to do a lot of things while you’re under the effects because it literally keeps you in a daze the whole time. Some people say that you talk to yourself and mutter things but all the experiences I’ve heard of just put the users on the floor in a daze.

    A good scale I found online which almost explains the “levels” of Salvia trips (I’m not sure where I found this but if someone wants to cite, be my guest):

    Level – 1 “S” stands for SUBTLE effects. A feeling that “something” is happening, although it is difficulty to say just what. Relaxation and increased sensual appreciation may be noted. This mild level is useful for meditation and may facilitate sexual pleasure.

    Level – 2 “A” stands for ALTERED perception. Colors and textures are more pronounced. Appreciation of music may be enhanced. Space may appear of greater or lesser depth than is usual. But visions do not occur at this level. Thinking becomes less logical, and more playful; short-term memory difficulties may be noted.

    Level – 3 “L” stands for LIGHT visionary state. Closed-eye visuals (clear imagery with eyes closed: fractal patterns, vine-like and geometric patterns, visions of objects and designs). The imagery is often two dimensional. If open-eyed visual effects occur, these are usually vague and fleeting. At this level, phenomena similar to the hypnagogic phenomena that some people experience at sleep onset occur. At this level, visions are experienced as “eye candy” but are not confused with reality.

    Level – 4 “V” stands for VIVID visionary state. Complex three-dimensional realistic appearing scenes occur. Sometimes voices may be heard. With eyes open, contact with consensual reality will not be entirely lost, but when you close your eyes you may forget about consensus reality and enter completely into a dreamlike scene. Shamanistic journeying to other lands–foreign or imaginary; encounters with beings (entities, spirits) or travels to other ages may occur. You may even live the life of another person. At this level you have entered the shaman’s world. Or if you prefer: you are in “dream time.” With eyes closed, you experience fantasies (dream like happenings with a story line to them). So long as your eyes are closed you may believe they are really occurring. This differs from the “eye candy” closed-eye imagery, of level 3.

    Level – 5 “I” stands for IMMATERIAL existence. At this level one may no longer be aware of having a body. Consciousness remains and some thought processes are still lucid, but one becomes completely involved in inner experience and looses all contact with consensual reality. Individuality may be lost; one experiences merging with God/dess, mind, universal consciousness, or bizarre fusions with other objects–real or imagined (e.g. experiences such as merging with a wall or piece of furniture). At this level it is impossible to function in consensual reality, but unfortunately some people do not remain still but move around in this befuddled state. For this reason a sitter is essential to ensure the safety of someone voyaging to these deep levels. To the person experiencing this the phenomenon may be terrifying or exceedingly pleasant; but to an outside observer the individual may appear confused or disoriented.

    Level 6 – “A” stands for AMNESIC effects. At this stage, either consciousness is lost, or at least one is unable to later recall what one had experienced. The individual may fall, or remain immobile or thrash around; somnambulistic behavior may occur. Injuries can be sustained without pain being felt; on awakening, the individual will have no recollection of what he/she did, experienced, or said in level 6. People cannot recall what they experience in this very deep trance state. This is not a desirable level, because nothing can latter be recalled of the experience.


    Personally, I’ve been distinctly on level 5 and I do plan on trying to reach 6.

    Ultimately, you won’t have a “bad trip” unless you make it a bad trip. Make sure you’re in a good mood, maybe a friend or two but definitely not in a large social setting. At the end of the game, take in what happens and evaluate it positively, not negatively. That’s the difference between users who expect a bad trip and users who don’t, in my honest opinion.

    To each their own though, I will say that I’ve concluded Salvia is one of the safest drugs to experiment with, I’ve read some articles lately that say the drug might be used in the professional field to help with certain mental disorders.

    To the author, I respect your opinion and experience, I can only say it’s quite unfortunate.

    Thanks for sharing your experience and I hope others will benefit from mine.


    • Just an update from my first post:

      I’ve actually just come off a deep Salvia (60x) trip and like I said before, there is nothing “terrifying” about the drug, more so I would say it brings you into a, generally, neutral feeling of complete mental fascination. That’s probably the best way I can describe the feeling; it doesn’t make me scared and it doesn’t make me experience ridiculous euphoria or anything. Specifically, it physically puts me into a neutral world while mentally I am taken through the perspectives of things, or objects, that should not have perspectives.

      I feel like Salvia distorts the brains ability of “making sense” – It’s extremely difficult to explain what I mean but from my perspective anyway, I feel like it causes you to forget how things work and more importantly, why things work; why the world is what it is and while all that is happening, and this is the most significant aspect in my opinion, you “buy in” to what you see and think about. You literally convince yourself that what is happening is real.

      • (Cont.)

        The user below me mentioned and I quote:

        “Salvia made me “realize” that life has no point, and that I am here to escape and forget. I feel like, in the dull hopeless reality outside of this life, I am worthless and looked down on. I feel like family, love, beauty, and friends have no meaning.”

        Maybe this is out of complete coincidence, but I’ve also recalled this, not when tripping on Salvia but a few weeks ago actually I was explaining this idea to a friend, almost word for word. I figured it was because I was extremely high off cannabis at the time (weed makes me think ridiculously about the existence of life and such) but then I realized, that literally there is no meaning or reason for life; in ultimate essence, life is meaningless.

        However, I’ve already thought about this before and made the same conclusions so it was nothing “new” but I just found that rather a coincidence that this user experienced that way of thinking and related it to Salvia. Unfortunately there isn’t enough research to fully understand what Salvia does to the brain (thankfully we do know some things) but who knows, maybe Salvia brings out ideas or questions that no one wants to elaborate on.

        I know for a fact my friends get irritated when we’re smoking weed and I ask them questions like “Who are we?” or “What is life.” Lol

        Anyway, a couple more pennies for thought, as a second conclusion I’ll say it again, it’s not a party drug. The only reason why someone will do Salvia again, such as myself, is for the sheer fascination the drug brings to the mind. In other words “Where’s it going to take me this time?”


  62. I have smoked salvia a few times, and thought the trip itself wasn’t that scary, the feelings i’ve had about it are very depressing.
    Salvia made me “realize” that life has no point, and that I am here to escape and forget. I feel like, in the dull hopeless reality outside of this life, I am worthless and looked down on. I feel like family, love, beauty, and friends have no meaning.

    And when i smoke salvia, i temporarily back away from the tv screen of life, and see the dull existence around me. Its so familiar, everything is. And all I want to do is smash my face back up against the screen and forget what i just realized.
    Ignorance is bliss. Life is an escape, a dream that i never want to wake up from.

  63. I wish I had read this back in 2006… Only things I ever tried for alcohol and a few joints, then someone said try Salvia, it’s legal (was then anyway). Did 40x out in the woods with ‘some friends’, time stopped, repeated ad-infinitum, and I felt something tear at me from behind and then the black hole opened up. I can’t remember the endless nonsense that occurred after that up until I actually forced myself up and tried to run, only to be teleported back to where I was sitting at a fraction of the moment over and over and over…I made it 5 feet which seemed like years and finally it was over.

    This was video-taped… No more than 20-30 seconds at most went by, but I swear it was insanity how long my mind perceived it. Not only this, but that eerie voice, (my very own it turns out) uttered from my own mouth in the video “What’s wrong A–?”

    I, too, questioned reality, and for months after I tried to resolve the questions, the earth shattering memory that just by thinking about the whole thing would evoke the sensation of pure terror that I felt.

    I’m lucky that I don’t hear a voice in my head, but I was traumatized and confused… Just reading your article reminds me why life is so precious right now, if existence is anything like what we experienced from Salvia after this life, then this life is far more valuable, stable and good.

  64. I’ve never heard of anyone overdosing on salvia. Mental beliefs manifest as physical symptoms– you should believe this since you have experience the un-reality of this world. It may be that you need to shift your belief to celebrating that it’s not you that is the problem; it’s really the world that is fucked up and false.

    You should be happy that the drug sobered you up. That is what it does to a lot of people who see the world unzip and realize their living in a reality show or cosmic machine or both. You died and you came back. It’s called a religious experience. You thought it would taste sweet but it’s truly bitter on the stomach. I went over the rainbow on my very first salvia experience.

  65. My first experience:
    I held it in for a long time because I didn’t feel any burn and when I exhaled; I immediately and uncontrolably sank back on the couch. It hit me fast and within two seconds I was at “Level 4.” The carpet and walls started moving like conveyor belts and had zippers which were coming unzipped. This didn’t look like a special effect– this looked real. The carpet was flowing in and out of my feet and I was melting into the material on the couch. I could feel the surface of the coffee table across the room just looking at it.

    I got up and went into my room. This is when I first experienced my hand passing through matter. My hand phased through the frame of the door and I thought it was awesome. I started having a physical experience and grabbed at my genitals for a second. Then I fell on the floor and fell through it into another room below; and then I did this over and over as I lost control of the trip. I started to come the part where I realized I wasn’t hallucinating.

    Time stood still and I knew I was experiencing something that no one had ever told me about. I felt like my mind was a cell in a bee hive, and every mind was a different cell, but it was all one collective memory or experience. I felt like I was one with all and at the same time I felt like God. The call it an entheogen because it brings out the theos within.

    I realized that all of time is happening at once and that we are just experiencing the same day over and over again.

  66. This is what happens to people who use salvia divinorum without any prior knowledge about the effects of the plant. You should not have experimented with the sacredness of it. You did a complete blasphemy and as a return, you were suffering. Poor thing. Many are the likes of you, that’s why they only lead to fear. Taken salvia divinorum for more than ten years, have a sound mind, peaceful nights, great family bonding and more. Really a poor fool. Sorry for you.

    • Daniel,

      There’s a strange lack of compassion in your tone– quite uncharacteristic of someone with a sound mind and healthy familial bonds…

      I hope you’re truly happy as you say, and that you’ll learn to channel that joy outwards to greater effect.

      • Damn Ronnie, you really can’t handle even LIGHT criticism can you? You gotta be able to accept that you fucked up, and that you were indeed foolish and that you did in fact commit sacrilege. This person didn’t even call you a bad name or anything, they just stated a fact to you, one that is very relevant to your healing, and all you do is essentially disregard their statement and even attempt to minimize them by telling them they have a strange lack of compassion that is uncharacteristic of a sound mind. You see bro, your ego sucks, it must defend itself against any criticism or anything which challenges its own “status quo” (for lack of better term)
        Quit being a bitch bro,listen to these people, they are literally giving you the solution to ending this suffering. The more I read of comments like of yours the more I understand why this happened to you, your ego is too strong and Salvia shattered everything it thought it knew.
        You need more humility, you gotta realize you ain’t shit and that it’s your egos fault, you must realize you are not only the ego. Read a new Earth by Eckhart Tolle, he will teach to u about the ego and how to break attachment with it and how to avoid falling victim to it and the pain body.
        I mean come on bro, you write a blog, why does one do that? Typically for egoic reasons, to feel appreciated, to feel heard, to feel important or like people care about what they have to say, you built this website spend time writing all this stuff, I’m sure some of it you do for a good reason, but I know the rest is all ego. I know it is, social media, all this shit are just devices to feed our ego and uphold the bullshit story and image we build for ourselves, I kinda went too far in talking about why you make this blog n shit but it’s all relevant.
        Drop the ego dude, take some criticism, realize you did a stupid thing, apologize to the spirit of Salvia and MOVE ON

  67. Hey there, since 2003 I have been dying to find someone who has experianced this as I did, because I thought I was going crazy. I used to travel the worlds, and go on a flight almost every month, smoked weed, have fun drank with friends lived a normal life up until that horrid night of 2003, I took 1 hit! only 1 hit out of a bubbler of 20x extract salvia, and i passed out on the ground, well my body did..
    As i laid there I was blind, I kept hearing people talking in the background what did you give him, what did you do, as my stunned family gathered around my lifeless body, all i saw was a hersey kiss being unwrapped… then my vision came back, at this point i was franticly trying to run, or just escape where ever i was, chanting repeating, when does it stop, where does it end… when does it stop where does it end.. at the room was cut and put on a film reel, and the floor would become the ceiling and the ceiling would become the floor.. finally i came back enough to run outside, and i sat in the street, repeating i will never be the same again i will never be the same again..

    after that night, i became agorophobic, for 9 months i couldn’t leave my bedroom let alone my parents house. little by little i had to teach myself how to drive a car again, how to function in the world again.. and little by little it came back.. im now almost 30 years old. its been 10 years a decade i have lived with panic attacks, going in and out of the hospital convinced I’m dying and people telling me i need to be on SSRI medications.

    Dude im seriously at the end of my rope… i dont know what to do.. i reach out to you, to see if you have come up with something, if you found something, cause Im seriously sick of living this way.. its no way to live, i’ve been fucking cut at the ankles..



    • Josh,

      I am certain that Salvia leaves permanent scars, so as you said, it really can feel like being cut at the ankles. I still suffer almost daily to varying degrees, myself. But let me pose this question: if you had instead been cut at the ankles, how would you proceed? Would you paint yourself as the victim, and wallow for the rest of your life, or chose to adapt and thrive in whatever new ways were possible?

      To the second end of thriving, I’ve found a few things to be helpful. I take time to enjoy nature– whether I’m surfing, backpacking, or just enjoying a patch of sunshine– these things can help me to feel connected with life.

      I have also made an effort to contextualize my experience through talking with many different people (almost everyone I meet). At first, I wasn’t able to speak about it at all without falling into a panic attack, but now I am able to inch my way delicately around the subject, and I’ve built a sort of narrative to explain my own choices, experiences, and the journey through regret towards acceptance.

      When I need to (and not as often as I should), I practice yoga, and conscious breathing exercises. I don’t go to a studio or anything, but just stretch and breath in the ways that make my body feel better.

      I have also had to moderate to extreme degrees my drinking, smoking, and even coffee consumption. I take great consideration over everything that enters my body, because I am very sensitive to these things now. Any kind of excess can send me into a panic spin. So, I eat mostly raw fruits and vegetables.

      Recently, I re-enrolled in school. I haven’t been to a class or work for nine years, but I’m now forcing myself to be around other people, and to learn new things. As I understand it, the brain is incredibly plastic, so the more new pathways I develop, the less likely it will be for my thoughts to travel down the Salvia-related channels. It is also important to feel like one is growing, and I had stopped feeling that way– so this was my solution.

      I’ve also become much more committed to new social experiences, bonding and connecting with all forms of life, whether they be people on the bus, or a bird that accidentally flew into the house. This feeling of connection, compassion, and acceptance can help restore the vibrancy to life. And to give love freely only serves to show that the supply of love is infinite– it’s a great affirmation of one’s own worth to actively supply positive energy to others.

      Lastly, I simply refuse to feel miserable; I refuse to interpret my journey as a tragedy, despite the overwhelming tendency to see it that way. Ultimately, the only significant choice I think we really have in life is whether we want to enjoy the ride, or not. We have, I think, very little say over the specifics of our journey, and sometimes it may be a thrilling or frightening experience… But in much the same way that these feelings can be part of a great film or book, we can enjoy them as parts of our own story. And the happiness in the “happy ending” comes from choosing joy, regardless of whatever else may have happened.

      I don’t know if any of that helps– but it’s all I’ve got on a sleepy Sunday morning. I hope you’ll remember your bliss, Josh. Life will always be a mystery, so just smile and try to focus on the beauty in the things around you.

    • Please read my reply at the bottom of the thread.

  68. I think you need to take a look at the things you focus on in life. I did salvia at a very negative point in my reality and it had haunted me for months, the experience even entering my dreams.

    I felt like i was in hell and was slowly going to be grinded as my surroundings turned into a hellish cog i was trapped in. My friend turned into the devil sat beside me and laughed . I was convinced this reality was real and my other life was a hoax.

    After months of research and asking others about their experience, in the end i concluded it is a drug that really fucks your brain up, causing you to experience a very personal hallucination. Everyone shares a similar experience but interprets it differently based on their attitude and emotions (religious, nihilistic, adventurous, positive) . I have learnt a lot from my trip to be strong and not give a fuck, instead of fearing it.

    Be strong and dont fear. We all shall die , and death will be amazing when it comes.

  69. Thanks for sharing that Ronnie,

    I had actually just purchased some salvia off the Internet and had it shipped here to Melbourne Australia, I have tried a small dose of dmt years ago and it was a beautiful amazing experience with the room I was in turned into a cartoonish place with everything made up of including myself of crystalized gems, no leaving my body or the universe ripping apart just mind blowing amazing beautiful visuals.
    I haven’t been able to find dmt since, and found the salvia online and hoped it would be similar.

    I loaded a pipe last night with a full cone in it, smoked it and it was the most fucked experience ever, I was expecting either dmt visuals or totally leaving my body floating in space, but everything turned into fractals so I was sitting in my car and looking at the dash board, but the dash board was made of fractal mini pictures of the dashboard, I could see inside myself, I could see my thoughts the words I was thinking, saying out loud were not sounds or anything but they became the fractals of the what I saw Infront of me , the dashboard. I could see everywhere in the universe, again the dashboard. I had some sort of consciousness where I new everything wasn’t the dashboard but that’s all I could see or say even though I wasn’t saying or thinking dashboard, that’s all there was in all it’s fractal jumble.
    I looked down and saw my jacket which was made up of , you guessed it, fractal dashboards, I could feel it but didnt understand it I felt my zip and tries to find its end but it went on forever, I managed to get out of the car standing there in the middle of a car park trying to find the end of my zip looking like a nut case, I kind of remembered that I had a ‘thing’ in my pocket ( my phone) I could feel it there somewhere but it was in a pocket I couldn’t find. After 10 minutes of running my pockets down I finally got my hand on it and the relief I felt to find the ‘thing’ I couldn’t comprehend what this small thing made if dashboard fractals was but I had it. I kept saying over and over ‘thing’
    I just walked around and around my car till I started to regain reality
    When I came back to normal I thought I will never do that again that was so fucked up. But thismorning I kept thinking maybe what I had just wasn’t enough of it to ‘break through’ I need to have double that so there’s no mind fuck.
    Then I started googling salvia trip reports and came across this.

    Thankyou my friend, I’m not going to go further with it. I don’t want to do myself a mental injury, it’s really not worth it at all, I think we need to look outside of drugs for experiences and just enjoy actual life itself.
    When you look at the whole thing really, drugs don’t do anybody any real good.

    I hope you get better mate. Hang in there , meditate , eat healthy, exercise, and you will come right. Know it.


    • Jules,

      “Fractals” is a good word for the universe Sally sometimes creates. I’m so happy to hear that you found this post and decided not to venture any further with her. You’re much wiser than I was…

      And I appreciate your kind and supportive words. Now, five years later, I’ve accepted that my mind will never be the same… It’s more challenging to live this way– but it does force me to keep health as a top priority– so that’s good. :)

      You’re absolutely right about finding satisfaction in sober life. That’s the only way towards truth and light.

  70. i am so shit at writing its untrue, but mate i totally understand ive been through it all and by time things will get better believe me although im still suffering now things have got so much better in time wish i was a constructive write because id write up my experience as you have….peace man

  71. Its really bugging me that i cant tell you my experience, as i said tho as time goes you will gradually get over it, trust me …. dont really like reading all this stuff as it brings me back tho, just be happy and remember your not the only one mate… peace

  72. I smoked Salvia one time and seem to be having a similar experience.

    I’m currently in therapy, but still think that what Salvia showed me is real.

  73. While I am sympathetic and empathetic to your current situation, and wouldn’t particularly expect anyone in your position take a true self-critical look at the whole matter, I think your anger and grief is misdirected and if there is a message here, it’s not that salvia (or any natural psychadelics) are evil.

    If someone took a 100-coffee-cup dose of caffeine and ended up with a failing heart, or drank a gallon of hard liquor and ended up on liver-transplant row, most people would also start a holy war against the substance, but who ever starts at “maybe I’VE done a reckless thing, and abused what others enjoy responsibly, and that’s MY fault”? That’s extremely hard to do, but rather than making yourself a victim and falling into a spiral of self pity, perhaps facing your own mistakes is the only way to regain your strength to fight what you have done to yourself.

    You probably think that you’re already self-critical by comparing yourself to the “stupid brother” in this anecdote, but the mistake is that Salvia is not the lit burner on the stove, or else why would you have smoked it a hundred times after tying it once. You sum up all psycho-exploration as a self-harming dead end, only because you abused it and hurt yourself. This type of ignorance is where freedom-inhibiting drug laws come from.

    All that said, I hope this helps, as it’s not intended to insult, and I hope you find your way through strength, rather than drowning in pity.

    • God due your awesome thanks for posting this. This was the post that explained most of what I was trying to say but in a MUCH better way :)

  74. talk about drug ABUSE OMG POSTER BOY RIGHT There. you way over did it i mean several hundred times and thats not just in a lifetime but a small period of time! then the kicker mixing it with alcohol in a large dose! sorry you did that to yourself but seems to me you shouldn’t and could’t handle any drugs at that time or possibly ever. you need a full mature strong mind to use things to enlighten your self.To other readers don’t be discouraged to try things or be scared from reading this. Just be responsible and truly know you are ready and you will be ok. BOTTOM LINE DON’T ABUSE! http://www.sagewisdom.org/usersguide.html some helpful info

  75. I’ve been to the abyss and back and you just couldn’t cut it. Perhaps you are right to warn others, since most people are just like you. Most people are also afraid of nightmares.

    There is a reason that psychedelics were usually done with guidance, in complex ceremonies, or reserved only for use by a shaman.

    I am a shaman. You are not.

    • I wish I could convey how much I can relate to your experience. And I want to tell you that yes it’s possible to heal and be happy again. I was a very naive, happy, healthy kid until my older cousins got me introduced me to LSD when I was 14 years old. Very long story short…. By the time I was 16 my life was literally a living hell of panic attacks. I’m not exaggerating when I say that every second of every day for many years I was either in a full blown panic or extremely fearfull and on the verge of one. Much of my suffering was in silence as I was afraid to tell anyone how fucked up I had become and how truly terrified I was that I had actually lost my mind for good and would end up in a straight jacket. They were DARK times. I could not control my thoughts. I had terrible insomnia and could not stop my mind no matter how hard I tried. I felt like my grip on reality was hanging by a thread and if I let my guard down I would be lost for Forever. My appearance and health had gone down the drain. I lived like this for a long long time all the while feeling like I could not keep it up one more minute let alone the days, weeks, months and years that I did endure……….. Fast forward to now and needless to say Its been a long journey but its been over 8 years since I have had a panic attack or felt out of control. I feel infinitely more comfortable and healthy than back then. Life still has its challenges but they are normal life obstacles now as opposed to the mental toucher I had inflicted on myself. I am writing this in hopes that anyone out there struggling with dark times, wether or not they were the result of their own stupidity or not CAN heal and love life again. If there is someone out there who can actually relate to what I have said and is feeling hopeless and needs to talk to someone who DEFINITELY understands I am willing to try and help. It took me a long time to pull myself out of my own nightmare and if I could would love to light the way for someone else if I could.

      • I love the compassion and warmth in your message, Kelly. Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your story– it’s very generous of you to offer yourself as council.

    • I didn’t realize shaman looked down on others… I guess I can be glad I never became that way, if nothing else.

      • Shamans aren’t sweethearts, in fact shamans TOTALLY look down on others, they’re people who have to deal with shit here And on the other side, they don’t have time for your bullshit and theyll have no problem telling you in a less than kind way. This guy was here and wasn’t even being mean and once again that bitch ass little ego of yours minimizes what he said just because it was offensive to you. God how bitch made, I bet you were a tattle tale when you were a kid.
        I’m telling you bro, get over yourself, you are a joke, so laugh at yourself, once you have true humility than you can act like your the shit because you’ll know you ain’t shit. I laugh at myself everyday, I’m a cocky Mother fucker but I know I’m just a joke. Tn is all one big joke, it can even be good therapy laugh at yourself, laugh at your Salvia experience and all your little suffering, laugh and you will overcome, there is profound wisdom in what I just said, fa real

    • Great common sense here. Wish I’d thohgut of that.

  76. I think that that the high dose of Salvia pulled your energy far away from your body, leaving little to take care of it. I think that your body was not able to regulate itself while it was drunk. You very well may not have been breathing sufficiently to supply your brain to the point of brain damage. That’s one tangible possibility I could see given the scenario. On a another level I could imagine the chaos that could exist between alcohol and Salvia. I can see alcohol as something that encapsulates us within our own paradigm and distorts fears by encapsulating outward connections to our own domain that we feel we have control of. I think Salvia is very different.

  77. On a higher level I think the self destruction was made real by someone’s focus on darkness and carelessness. Reckless desparation caused substantial damage and someone hit rock bottom. A powerful and painful lesson. At the same time a new avenue for life. I don’t believe the Salvia is ultimately to blame. At least that’s my take. But I’m not you.

  78. I have had some Salvia trips of pure anxiety. That has led me to respect it. It is extremely powerful, and it behaves as if it had mind of its own. Even though the actual effects fade quickly, sometimes it takes days for the shift in perception to fade out completely.

    Mixing a huge dose of Salvia with alcohol and self-hatred sounds like holding a dynamite in hand and igniting the fuse to see what happens. I have to ask, did you really expect to survive intact? To me it sounds like you actually wanted to blow yourself up, for which I cannot blame you. I have had similar thoughts.

    Dynamite can kill, but it can also do a great deal of good. It’s just a matter of how you use it. With skill and wisdom, Salvia is extremely powerful tool for discovery and spiritual growth.

    However, without skill and wisdom, and without the fundamental knowledge on consciousness, it’s still just as powerful, but in destructive sense.

    The upside is, you are still alive, even though you don’t feel so. Salvia dissolves your ideas of your ideas, shows them in the true light: it’s dream, all of it. It can show (show as in “kick you in the butt to get the feeling”) you the way to live in this moment, but if you are desperate to get back to your dream (I know the feeling….), you will just mix things up and make yourself miserable, painful even.

    You might have to admit: there is no going back. And, there really is no such thing as going back. Time only runs forward. Every moment is new. What once seemed to be going back is just recreation of what you once experienced, what you now remember. Give it up. You cannot use it anymore.

    Without such attachments, you could be utterly free. But, not being prepared to give it all up, still desiring what you think you lost (but you never had — it was a dream, remember), you end up suffering. Stop wanting to get it back. Let new life flow in. Old life is gone, and it was just illusion, no matter how real it felt like.

    It’s easier said than done, I know, but what are your alternatives?

  79. A not?? qui , au sein de cette ajustant , sujet trois service arm?? Licence positions . Wang Ning, chef primaire impliquant Personnel dans le P??kin services militaires Lieu Cl?? associ?? Personnel ??lev??e , Chengdu militaire Lieu Chef march?? pouvoir chef, chef du Arm??e Lieu Tune lieutenant de suffrage hauss?? nationale S??curit?? Universit?? ou le coll??ge. Relatif ?? it , un petit groupe de chef et primaire impliquant Personnel cr??er . Major G??n??ral G??n??ral Travailleurs interventions chirurgicales Section Bai Jianjun Wang Ning successeur comme principale de Personnel avec l’ Chine Militaire Zone . Tibet Militaire R??gion Commander Yang Jinshan, vice-commandant

  80. The writer of this should read ‘The Ringing Cedars of Russia’ book series by Vladimir Megre. I would be shocked if after reading these you still had the problems you report. If you don’t read them one of the important points made in the books is to grow your own plants as they will be able to heal you. Book 1 has a chapter on how to inoculate seeds with you DNA so the resulting plants can put to optimum mixture of elements/compounds inside themselves for you.

  81. After searching for adverse effects of salvia, I found this to be so close to the struggle I have been dealing with my own partner. He doesn’t see that so many of his, and inadvertently, our, problems began when he became obsessed with this new high! Thanx for sharing your, albeit, bad experience. My life has changed and not for the better because of salvia and its abuse.

    • I’m sorry to hear that– back when I was experimenting with hallucinogens, I became convinced that I was chasing sacred wisdom. I thought if I just used enough, in the right ways, that I’d have some sort of great epiphany and achieve a lasting sort of spiritual evolution.

      I used to promote and defend these substances as shamanistic tools, as so many of the readers here have done.

      In the end, I got wisdom, but not the kind of mystic, transcendental bliss I had been chasing. I learned to respect my body, and to cherish health, clarity, and sobriety.

      I hope your partner will have a similar realization sometime soon.

      • God your such a fuckin dummy you make me more angry with each stupid reply you post. Youre ego really loves all the Thanks and praise its getting from those you have scared away, and hates the posts that offend it. You just said you thought if you took just the right dose that you thought you’d get transcendental wisdom and epiphanies, if you took the right amount? How stupid does anybody have to be to sincerely think that? That is the typical escapist wanna be hippy artist ascetic belief. The kind of person that takes a huge dose of LSD and then tells everybody how their so much more enlightened because of it. Than you say you genuinely used to regard these as legit shaministic tools? Yeah until you realize your a Dumbass who couldn’t handle it? Come on Ronnie. Enlightenment isn’t an escape, the spiritual path is not an escape, well not completely (in some religions and belief systems it is.)You really are a dumbass huh? I hope I’m wrong in thinking that, I want to be, for your sake, purely for your sake.
        “I didn’t gain transcendental wisdom in my experiences so because of that I now believe they cannot provide that for anyone” that is your logic, it’s all good, it’s your reality man. But if your this dumb your reality is really gonna suck, and man I feel like an actual asshole for this but I mean I guess I’m right because I mean,,, doesn’t it suck?
        From what I’ve been reading, shit sucks for you, that’s why your posting this post, to process the whole experience, to “warn” others (from engaging in your breed of stupidity), and perhaps unbeknownst to you to make others feel bad for you and subconsciously make you feel bad for yourself, which makes your ego feel better because it reinforces the belief that it’s the Salvia fault so it doesn’t have to accept responsibility for this suffering,… Your responsibility for Your suffering

  82. Hey Ronnie, after reading this, I have a few things to say to you.
    I’m sorry that this happened to you, but I hope you do realize you’ve made a very big mistake. Experimenting with drugs is not something I would demonize, but deliberately OD’ing / taking high dosages on drugs is a extremely moronic thing to do. What did you expect to happen from it? Eternal happiness? Drugs aren’t candy / chocolate / soft drinks where you can use as much as you want until you feel that you had enough and stop using it.

    When you dose on drugs, you have to think forward, you need to consider a few things. There is no going back from it after it entered your blood stream and made it’s way to your brain. If you have low bodyweight / weak body resistance / mental or depressive issues you can already ASSUME that you don’t need a high dose to feel the effects. What for others is a normal dose can be a f*cked up dose for you.

    That being said, I too have experienced some drugs, including weed, hash, salvia and some even harder devastating sh*t that I regret to this day from using (headaches, anyone?).

    The only thing that helps is complete abstinence & distraction. That last one is so fucking important. Distraction. Trade one addiction for another (gaming works for me).
    Otherwise I only think about getting fucked up. And that’s not good for you in the long run.

    But I have a good feeling about this, Ronnie. Trade one addiction for another, that’s my advice to you.

    And STAY AWAY from the hard shit.
    Coke is a b*tch.

  83. Hey man been there and done that. I’ve done more psychedelics in my life than any 5 other people i’ve known. shrooms dozens of times, lsd a couple hundred, e, experimental research chemical analogues to dmt, dmt, ayahuasca, and of course salvia. I used to always think that the enlightenment gained during a trip would persist forever if i just tripped one more time. It doesn’t. I think it took a really baad trip for me to start a new chapter in my life. I look(ed) alot towards buddhism and hindu practices as i think they have many sensible creeds that apply to life. In the end however, no one besides Buddha himself ever managed the complete separation from conventional reality(materials, relationships, etc.) at which point the universe becomes limitless and all is known and beautiful. Psychedelics gave me and i’m sure you a glimpse of that. And that is beautiful insofar as helping one in terms of self discovery. In the end however, I reached a point where i could no longer in any conscience keep tripping. I’d rebeled and fought against societal norms and expectations(which are there for a reason) my whole life. Without getting into explicit details, these days I care about a few things and they have helped my recovery greatly. More than ever, I care about my parents and brother and sister. My few friends who were ever actually my friends. Its interesting that while tripping seems the epitome of enlightened pursuit, I in retrospect realized that i was never further away and removed(spiritually, cognitively, emotionally and physically) from those loved ones who have truly been stable as a rock for me. For me it happened in the form of one bad yet cathartic trip. But since the realization dawned on me i have not been able to bring myself to trip again. These days I find contentment in the small things and the mundane – i work a 9 to 5 as an accountant and spend my time with those i love. And amaziingly, while i could never have imagined this being my ideal future when i was younger, this is the most fulfilled i’ve felt in a long time.

    Tripping is good not because tripping is good but because it applies a different lense through which you can enjoy the life that you have and the life that you have had. Tripping over and over again makes one lost (spiritually) because it takes the steady flow of experiences to temper the rationalizations of a trip. If youve formed a really meaningful relationship or had a long journey before tripping, that is when it is best.

    I studied advanced calculus and play(ed) a really mean guitar in college and all of those experiences combined with a greater understanding of how the world works(in terms of physics) can be distilled into one truly important thought: all that happens in this world is flux. Nothing ever stands still (but i do admit the closest an average person gets to timelessness is tripping). Regardless, everything on our earth is a function of change with respect to time. Its interesting to note that modern phsyics have proven that time does not actually exist and all space time is laid out before the cosmic entity like a map(the 4th dimension). We are merely moving on a point to point basis which is why we experience time. Our sense of time is determined by a small star in a small quadrant of a vast universe. In the absence of light, there can be measurable time passage. And think of how that must apply to each star system, to each star that shines light on each world. Time is not constant or truly anything substantial but what we make of it. Having a very different educational background than many of my acquaintances with whom i’ve tripped, i think, has given me a deeper insight into how these varying fields of thought(calc, music, tripping) can be reconciled.

    Mathematically speaking, you are right – all that we know is not what it seems and reality is only what we perceive it as. That’s probably what induces your anxiety(i’ve been there). In your timeless tripping days, you lost the ego(which is merely another function of time. The ego cares about keeping schedules, making changes, maintaining attractive standards, really everything). Take away time and why would the ego care or even need to exist. The problem is that the ego must and always will come back. Now the part of you that has experienced the infinite and sees the illusory nature of things has a very hard time reconciling with the part of you that your mom and dad raised, that your first kiss and love defined, that your friends helped create.

    Look, I have dealt and deal with the same shit man. The only cure for the stress and anxiety is to live – happily, simply, and fully. Dont forget about the enlightened state you gained from tripping but dont let that define the conventional you that must go on carrying on everyday. Rather, let it enrich you. Live and be kind and encourage others through the brightness you have been lucky enough to briefly experience.

    In the end, you’ll never be able to truly let go of yourself and reality so don’t. Hold onto it. Don’t give in to the part of you that tries to regain and re-experience that timeless state because you will always have time and change to account for in the end. And realize that you’re no different from all things of this earth. We strive, and we try. And you should too.

  84. on a side note and in accordance with my other non-western beliefs, I’ve learned and believe anxiety to be a product of overactive crown and third eye chakras(a discussion for another time or something you could separately look into). Practice grounding yourself. be in nature. its great. in this world that is always flux, we all must go through constant change. When the mind does all the differentiating and the body doesnt follow is when anxiety sets in. So put the mind on hold when you can and let the body do and catch up. Go do shit man. Meet people. Gain other peoples insights. It’ll make your mind that much more able to handle understand the change its gone and going through. But just do shit. Throw yourself into shit. and let your body with the mind

    • I found a chakra meditation and kundalini yoga practice a few years ago that I’ve integrated into my other mind/body work.

      This blog was posted a few years ago as a retrospective on an experience I’d had earlier, still. These days, I’m much more in line with the lifestyle you seem to lead.

      I’m glad you commented, though. Of all the responses I’ve gotten here, yours resonates the most with me personally.

  85. Brilliant article , people need to realise the dangers of this substance .
    ive had it around me for seven years and found it to be more like an occult experience ,
    even the label said its an extraordinary potion of enchantment and enchantment is akin to being under a spell so that made me think .
    i never trusted the goddess who spoke to me because although people bang on about lady salvia , how do we know for sure that she isn’t a demon ?
    my friend took it before me and said i should try it and when i did he laughed maliciously and said ha !, now you are trapped too and i wondered if this lady salvia harvests souls .
    demons are clever and are expert in tempting people with false illusions and salvia is very interesting stuff and draws people in but do we really know if its safe?
    divinorum is implying that salvia can be used for divination and ive recently found out that mexican shamans use it for that purpose .
    going into other dimensions is divination because its searching for forbidden knowledge .
    ive for years suffered badly from what is known as sleep paralysis and typically i get something pressing down on me while falling asleep , ive even been strangled by these dark spirits and pulled down my bed and sometimes these attacks happen every night .
    eventually i started to see these entities and they are like people but are totally black and like fast moving shadows.
    After looking for advice , the only thing thats helped is to call out in the mind for Jesus and it stops these attacks immediately so ive started to look more into this .
    ive since looked at a site called stopsleepparalysis and found out that divination is detestable to our maker and doing such things gives a doorway to demons and dark spirits and it gives them authority to mess with us .
    , ive since renounced all my legal highs and new age stuff because i believe its been giving these dark spirits authority over me and ive repented and now these attacks have stopped .
    i know that many of you will openly ridicule me for even mentioning Jesus , but demons hate his name so its proof to me that many who hate the name are living in darkness .
    its incredible how the name Jesus is so repulsive to so many people and it speaks volumes to me because only people with egos cant handle the idea that god knows best .
    its doesn’t matter if i get slagged off , i’m not bothered , but i will say this , these nightly attacks are so real , so disturbing because they feel physical that ive renounced new age ideologies and got rid of all drugs and now feel as though a great weights been lifted .
    if i can share one more thing , that is if any of you want to be happy and content , dont do drugs , do some volunteering and help others and you will see yourself in all people plus serving others whittles away the ego and brings great peace and happiness .
    ive served as a volunteer helping mentally ill people for twenty years and often see the demons in their faces .
    ive found Jesus and he is my cure and the true way to be happy.
    i’m not trying to preach , i dont even go to church because i serve others and find that a better way to please my maker .
    i sincerely hope that at least some of you will benefit from this post , i’m not coming from an ego but my heart . be safe be well

    • Thank you so much, Kevin, for your post. Out of all the posts here, your message was the wisest and most helpful to me. I thank God for you, and I pray that you continue to do well and serving The Lord Jesus here on earth. Amen.


    Hey Ronnie I am writing because I’m completely with you on your experience. You are not alone. In early 2013 I tried SALVIA. Let me add that I too am a musician and tour heavily yearly. I have had my fair share of experimenting, but never have had a life alteration like this. Your story brought tears to my eyes because it is exactly…EXACTLY like mine. I tried it with some friends of mine last year and it has changed my life. As the drug began to creep on my I started seeing my life flash before my eyes like entering a worm hole then at its peak it ripped my body and mind into two halves. My heart raced I thought I was going to die. I suddenly was in a distorted reality not knowing where, who I was, how I was. All I remembered was having my brother hold me tight because I started going into panic. It was like being in an altered state of reality. So when it wore off ten minutes later I couldn’t believe what had just happened. I felt like I had gotten possesed and then re-released into humanity…Bro let me tell u. It took me days to remember the simple things that I had been trained to do my whole life. Like why do we eat, why do I drink, why do we sleep? I started having panic attacks over these simple functions because I lost reality. Anxiety came over my body and now everytime I get scared I get a minor dose of a salvia trip or atleast my mind believes its on the edge of feeling that way again so I get really scared and panic. I go to the ER all the time because I think I’m dying all the time. A minor stomach cramp or gas or if I have a pain in my arm I’ll have anxiety attacks cause I’m “DYING” but I completely healthy. My girlfriend had to drive 17 hrs to accompany me on the road because when this first happened sounds frightened me and I had trouble with my performances. I have lost all sense of basic function on my mind. I question so many things now. I cant just wake up and enjoy my days anymore. I used to get really scared when the sun would go down and the moon appeared. I couldn’t comprehend it and my mind would just go into “panic where the hell” am I mode. Im not the same guy I used to be. I read your story and would like your advice. I would like to ask if we could stay in touch. Your story reached my heart and any of your advice to get well would help. I am making better progress these days but it has taken me about 9 months to start to understand a few things clear again. It was all torn down and I’m rebuilding. God, love and Nature have helped. Any advice…Its good tho know that there are others out there. Thank You for putting this site together…Seeing this has made me feel like there are people like me recuperating from such a strange mental illness. God Bless and stay in touch…

    • Continue your journey with God. Jesus Christ is watching you always, and He loves you dearly. Be with him, continue to read the Bible, which is his awesome Word, and you will see the truth of your life and existence. Lean not on understanding, but have faith in Him who created you. I pray that you will find peace with our Lord and Savior, and that you will be able to be healthy again. Believe in His power. He is omnipotent, and He has mercy on us. Amen.

  87. At first I was thinking you meant the use of Salvia in the very rare occasion.

    I started reading and recognized some things, but I kept reading and came to see how far you got to go and to what extent you had to use the Salvia to get there.

    Salvia the few times I did Fully (torch flame with water piece)…. and disappeared it was… truly uncomfortable not having knowledge, feel like a new born animal thrust into a lot of stuff, constantly understanding more but then not understanding what your understanding as it gets lost again to the Salvia.

    Your trip told you pretty much what you need, you need the same thing I crave, you need more people. You said you were drunk when you took that deep dive into Salvia, really sounds like you were alone when you did it too…. you remember wishing you’d shown more of your heart to those you loved.

    Maybe there is a part of you that wishes you found the same excitement and joy you seem to be looking for within the relationships you have. Even though it sounds like you’ve had some profoundly disabling after effects from turning the staircase going down the rabbit hole into a slide, but thats to be expected, its just to bad you had no one to stop you when you were drunk.

    Maybe those in the other place seem to find your repeated trips amusing…. because thats likely what they see our experiences as… repeated trips in a completely different dimension all for the sake of learning/growing/evolving. So when they see you, they think “Hahah… you guys see this guy over heres…. hes tripped back to the dimension from the one hes currently tripping in XD” Which is to say the human life, is a trip.

  88. I smoked salvia ONE time about 3 years ago. The result?
    An acorn sized cyst in my brain which was removed about 2 weeks

  89. After I smoked salvia my perception of the world changed. The world has become a scary place for me and it will be that way for the rest of my life.

    Please do not smoke salvia.

    Learn from me as well.

  90. Please read this:
    I too have suffered an extremely bad trip with salvia. I experienced a horrible panic attack after the trip. One day later I suffered another panic attack and to my horror it persisted for the next day and I couldn’t break out of the panic that took hold of me.
    Here were my thoughts:
    1. salvia fucked me up for good
    2. My whole life has been an illusion and all the people around me live in their own illusions as well.
    3. I will never be able to enjoy life again
    4. Salvia will creep up slowly and take hold of me completely.
    5. In the most extreme panic: While tripping on acid and salvia I’ve seen god and this is my punishmend
    6. I felt like I was experiencing ego-death and while feeling it I thought that finally my sanity would completely cease to exist and I will be put in a mental assylum.
    7. pictures of my friends visiting me in a mental assylum.
    8. even between the panic attacks I was shaking badly and anticipating another attack.
    9. I was afraid that in one of those attacks another person might take hold of my personality and cause me to kill myself.
    10. god himself was going to kill me in the nastiest way, by showing me that my life is meaningless and causing me to kill myself.

    After suffering greatly for several days, I realised that I needed help. even though I’m 26 years old I contacted my mom and asked her to take me to a Psychiatrist. While experiencing another strong panic I actually shouted at her that I wanted to be hospitalised because I was afraid I was going to kill myself.
    She insisted that I let her take me to a private psychiatrist so that it won’t have impact on my future. The psychiatrist heard me out and gave me SNRI (which is anti depression and anti-anxiety, he later changed my subscription to anti bipolar medication(SSRI + mood stabilizer (not anti psychotics))).


    while at the psychiatrist I actually asked him for antipsychotic medication (which is rather hard on the brain) so he made a smart move by giving me zyprexa, which is an anti psychotic (it takes it two weeks to gain that effect) but actually in that case it acted more as an anti histaminergic sedative on me.

    It felt like the unbelievable had happened, and I wasn’t actually gonna be put in an asylum.
    Retrospectively I understand that I have been depressed for several years prior to the experience and the salvia experience simply triggered a worsening of my condition, it caused panic which is simply caused by lack of serotonin in various parts of the brain. It also makes sense considering the dysphoric properties of the activation of the kappa opioid receptor.

    Anyway, here is a list of symptoms of a panic attack:
    1. tremor and shaking
    2. chills, or hot-waves
    3. fear of going crazy
    4. feeling of derealization or depersonalization (you don’t know who you are anymore, or you have no believe that the reality is real)
    5. fear of dying
    and several others.
    comparing this list to your story and to mine, I simply understand that we ARE NOT going crazy. that’s what my psychiatrist told me: when I see a crazy person he NEVER thinks he is crazy, and he is never afraid of going crazy, he actually thinks he’s normal. the fact that I felt like I was going crazy and that the salvia caused irreparable damage to my brain and that I lost any sense of reality is just because of the panic, which is A LOT less than psychosis.

    I think you should turn for proffesional, western medicine help. maybe salvia did fuck you up for good, but not in the sense of losing your sanity but rather in the sense of worsening you depression + panic attacks.

    I thank god for recovering!

    • Hello I would like some more info. I’ve been struggling for over 10 years. And I’ve gotten to the point where I need to live again

      • Hi, sorry for keeping you waiting, I check out this page every month or so.
        Now I’m completely over it, I used to have small relapses into depersonalization and panic disorder but with time it disappeared completely.
        The most beneficial drug for me was Mirtazapine (commercial name Miro). it is an SNRI, and interestingly it has some effect on the opioid system (salvia is a kappa-opioid agonist). It works great for alleviating panic, half an hour after taking it you feel: 1. hungry, 2. sleepy, 3. everything is gonna be juuuust fine :)
        Side effects are extreme hunger and weight gain, and daytime sleepiness.
        After a while I stopped taking it and sticked to Sertraline (commercial name Lustral or Serenada), I lost some weight and became active again. but occasionaly if I had a minor panic attack I took the Miro as a temporary solution.
        None of these drugs are addictive, but Sertraline (like other SSRI) has uncomfortable (but definitely manageable) withdrawal symptoms.
        What ever you do stay away from Benzodiazepines (such as Valium), as they’re highly addictive and they treat the symptom not the condition (they make you feel relaxed but they don’t affect the underlying panic thought process).
        Also, some new and interesting research on treating panic disorder and depersonalization disorder might be kappa opioid antagonists such as Buprenorphine, you can look for it in wikipedia and here: http://www.longecity.org/forum/topic/55589-a-very-real-talk-about-the-very-real-depersonalization-disorder/
        From my experience in getting treatment, psychiatrist know very little about salvia, and even about kappa opioid receptors. My personal idea on the subject (after studying some literature) is that salvia (to me) caused a depersonalization disorder together with panic disorder (I don’t know what came first though). In any case, I’m more or less fine now. I wish you all the best!

        • also, very important, SSRI have a strange tendency, when you start the treatment your mood actually begins to drop, they cause a worsening of your depression for a while, and it takes them some month or two to actually start helping you, that’s why antidepressants cause suicide in some cases. So you should give it time, but when you feel that they kicked in, you’ll know it, your whole life will change. don’t treat yourself by the way, make sure you consult a psychiatrist.

  91. also, I wanted to add a word of wisdom to cheer you up:
    “If you believe that could make it worse, believe that you can make it better”

  92. PS. No matter how bad an effect salvia has had on you, it’s all in your head. Once you regain your happiness and sense of security you will be able to recall the salvia trip with no fear. Right now your whole world is as small as that bong, thinking of the salvia trip as the most significant event of your life. Once you are chemically balanced again, you will see that life has so much more to it. And whatever you experienced with salvia is neither permanent nor cosmically important. It’s just a chemical you put in your brain that caused you to think that you are the entire universe or that everything ceased to exist. What’s the meaning of life you might ask? take some SSRI and stop searching for it… simply live on… life is beautiful

  93. Hi There,
    Just thought I’d give a perspective from the plant herself (I am one of her many caretakers- if it were a religion, you would call me a high priest).

    1. The Shepherdess is our friend; in her NATURAL state she is one of the mildest doorways on the planet. Research the indigenous people of Oaxaca, Mexico; she rates less potent than mushrooms when ingested (they use Salvia, Morning Glory seeds and Psilocybin Mushrooms for serious spiritual work/development). Her main path is that of cultivation and symbiotic ingestion. I started growing her about a little over 5 years ago. I was always too afraid to start using her because of the horror stories I heard and read about. Six years later, I started on my current path (and have integrated her into my lifestyle as a key member in her society). I personally met her by ingesting just two of the plant leaves on top. The effects were amazing. I had a “brain massage” and was very alert in waves with being groggy. The next day I was also very groggy mentally. After three days, I was back to “normal”. After that first meeting, I took the 10x plunge into the “pool”.

    2. She prefers not to be burned. She doesn’t seem to care all the much from our conversations, but more rolls her eyes (like “typical human behavior”). Much of her spirit goes “up in smoke” rather up into the initiate.

    3. Extracting the active ingredient leaves her spirit behind (her pun:). What you are left with is the most potent hallucinogenic on the planet. More so with it’s focus on just one receptor into the brain. Without her guidance, you are pretty much on your own to explore; as with any “super highway” if you aren’t familiar with the rules and regulations of the “road” you are playing a dangerous game. Plainly put, some people are going to have more of an issue adjusting to (and back from) the road than others.

    The majority of the bad experiences I read about have more to do with the ignorance of the user. Same as putting a fork into an electric socket. Meeting with Salvia as a person (or focused entity/goddess/master of time, space and perspective) is a very delicate business. The initiate should be removing alcohol,pork,other meats, sugar, spices and all thoughts of sex out of his or her mind when first meeting with her truly. Just as she is temperamental in her growing conditions (but very accommodating if you take the time to do your best with her) she is temperamental in her teachings. If you want to be some dumb, drunk punk looking for an experience, she’ll definitely oblige (no offense to Ronnie, many of the people I hear bad trips from have to do with improper mood and/or setting [by the way Ronnie is EXACTLY right about not mixing Alcohol with Salvia, not a good idea to bring a poison into the doorway, causes issues of many different kinds]) ; She is called the Seer’s sage for a reason. Don’t look, if you aren’t prepared (physically, mentally or emotionally) to see what you are looking for.

    4. She is meant to be ingested – To sum up; here is the case for doing Salvia in it’s natural state.
    A- The majority of end users feel an afterglow lasting for 30-180 minutes. This a very powerful feeling. A feeling of interconnected ness, psychic ability, and finding ones place on the planet and in the universe. Akin to the antidepressants that about 25-35% of America is currently on with out the harsh withdrawal effects that going with out one [antidepressant] can onset.
    B- She has a reverse tolerance. That’s right, as the end user uses Salvia more, he or she becomes more sensitive to it. There is a message in this . The message is that there aren’t any shortcuts in life. Going to the head/pawn shop and trying to blast off with 100x is going to most likely yield negative results to the end user. As it should. These messages need to be earned. As the user can handle more and more, it takes LESS and LESS to get to the same or higher states. An experienced user can get the same (or near same) effect from ingestion 60-80 leaves and drinking (60 leaves steeped for many hours) tea as the newbie blasting off with a bowl of 50X. The main difference is that with ingestion, the curve is much wider, and manageable to navigate with sanity intact (if you’re in=to what we consider “sane” right now:). About 10% of the population are unusually insensitive to Salvia. They would need to Smoke an extract to feel anything. Maybe their path is not with Salvia on this go around.

    For me; if I feel better the next day, and my body is not fighting the substance but actually welcoming it into my system and helping me be a more productive member of society, then I want to continue doing this. Hope you guys figure out the she is more of a doorway or scrying mirror than a drug.

    For Ronnie:i f you are still having issues, maybe you need to do MORE work with her and ask her why the door is jammed open; it is entirely possible that the reason that the doorway is still open is because you left too much behind when you turned tail and got out of there. At the very least, find or buy a plant, learn to ingest her properly, go through the fast and simply ask her for guidance. Maybe she loves you too much to simply let you go without doing some work for her. You’ve got to admit that not only did you do a silly thing, you disrespected her. I’ll meditate on this and get back to you after our next meeting if you want. I’ll be going on a Shaman journey tonight, without using the drug Salvia, to meet with the essence of her [Salvia/Shepherdess] and ask her about guidance on a few other matters tonight anyway.

    Peaceful Journeys,

  94. Ronnie,

    Hey man you may have come to this conclusion already but Jesus Christ himself knows exactly what you are going through / been through because he already suffered for it when he performed the Atonement for me, you and everyone else on this planet.

    I myself have gone through my own difficult road not with drugs but depression. I know can relate to some of the things you have mentioned in this post.

    Just reading God’s word itself can provide you strength and comfort!

    PSALMS : 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.

    Good luck too you!

  95. ‘Hosting of the Sidhe’ by W B Yeats may relate to what you have described.

    “The host is riding from Knocknarea
    And over the grave of Clooth-na-Bare;
    Caoilte tossing his burning hair,
    And Niamh calling Away, come away:
    Empty your heart of its mortal dream.
    The winds awaken, the leaves whirl round,
    Our cheeks are pale, our hair is unbound,
    Our breasts are heaving our eyes are agleam,
    Our arms are waving our lips are apart;
    And if any gaze on our rushing band,
    We come between him and the deed of his hand,
    We come between him and the hope of his heart.
    The host is rushing ‘twixt night and day,
    And where is there hope or deed as fair?
    Caoilte tossing his burning hair,
    And Niamh calling Away, come away.”

  96. Seams like you are dealing with a death like experience. Having been in a situation like the one your describing, let me recommend starting new with things as if being born again and see where this takes you. There are books on the topic of being born again. Some extremes involving moving to a new country or state as well as things like new wardrobes and car etc. Try this

  97. You clearly don’t understand how salvia works. I fully agree that people underestimate the severity with which it can effect the human mind; however, you failed to mention that salvia DOES NOT create metal illness. It does not cause one to be depressed, schizophrenic, bipolar, etc. Salvia can bring out or intensify underlying issues that were pre existing. You most definitely already had underlying problems that salvia intensified and brought to your attention. Additionally, salvia is not a psychedelic. It is not in the same family as shrooms, LSD, peyote, or any other drug you consider to increase artistic talent. Salvia is a hallucinogen. It is unlike anything else, and is slightly similar to DMT (which is in a category of its own).
    My point here is that you shouldn’t tell people that salvia will ruin their life. It won’t. If you aren’t mentally prepared for it it can have negative consequences and people need to understand that it’s not a party drug. Honestly, it isn’t even fun. But if you look at the experiences with an open mind you will be astounded at what you learn about yourself. You’re experience is a rare one that resulted from the emergence of pre existing and underlying mental illness. Try to face what scared you most Bout you’re bad trips and look closely at how the basis of those trips applies to things you fear and dislike about yourself and you’re life. You’ll will quickly find that these experiences we’re truly negative. They are simply the most intense and in your face truthful learning experiences you can have.

  98. If you’d done your research before getting fucked up you’d realize that smoked Salvia is very, very, VERY potent and not to be messed around with. You yourself said you took an enormous dose, WHILE DRUNK no less.

    Besides, if you chew it using the quid method, the effects are pleasant, mild and often people take away a sense of rejuvenation and appreciation for life. Just because you were STUPID and RECKLESS doesn’t mean others should be deprived of an experience that could change their life (often for the better).

    If you do stupid shit, bad things are going to happen to you. Psychedelics are not for recreational purposes. They are not here for your amusement. They’re not for getting “fucked up”. Salvia isn’t an alternative to weed. It isn’t like all the other psychedelics.

    You reap what you sow. Scrub.

  99. the last time i did salvia two or so years ago, i saw my best friend, who was

    watching me at the time, die. we were both paralyzed on a conveyor belt,

    moving toward a giant cube-crushing robot. i called, cried, and yelled his name. i

    tried moving my arm to reach out and grab him, and i could only stare horrified

    into his paralyzed, lifeless eyes. i came to after the trip and started crying,

    bawling even, and hugging him and claiming i never wanted to do it again. he

    died on april 15th of this year. he was crushed in a car accident, and im left here

    looking for answers i may never get. what happened? i may never know… i just

    wish i could take back the trip, cause maybe i wouldnt be trippin so hard right


  100. “One night, I ended up taking a massive dose, hundreds of times what I’d been using until then… I was drunk, and the part of me that hates myself took control… I loaded a bowl to the brim, and before I could turn back, my whole life began to collapse.”

    You knew the power of this substance and yet decided to overtly abuse it. The spirit of Salvia responded in kind. Sorry if that sounds harsh.

    I know people who’ve gone off to live with energy beings for months to a year after smoking Salvia extract, only to find out that only 5 minutes has passed. These experiences were mostly positive for them. You had a time distortion as well, but obviously a negative one. Somewhere, however, your mind and body retained a sense of real time somewhere in there, or you’d be quite beyond insane after millions of lifetimes of complete sensory deprivation.

    Anyway, the bottom line is that you were recreationally abusing a substance which is intended for periodic shamanistic work, and not “fun” and you got bit. I hope you find your way back to this reality, but chances are that you perceived the constructed and simulated nature of this reality, and some things can’t be unseen.

  101. You didn’t “ONCE” took a drug that changed your life. Your post should be directed to awareness of the consumption of sacred plants, not blaming them. Spirits did not want to tell you the beautiful things they said to me. This plant is native of my country, you were very disrespectful for being an outsider, doing it in a van, on a heavy dose, and a junkie (such as myself, don’t take it the wrong way) but when I’m planing on taking mushrooms, cactus or salvia, I choose to quit on all my synthetic stuff for 3 to 6 months, let myself be in my best for when the trip happens, so I can learn from it. I try to take just what my body wants, not what my mind thinks is going to “fuck me up” Drugs get you high, natural means gift from the earth, natural means sacred, awareness, realization of whats happening. I love drugs but they are my bad duality, the good one has many good things to tell you about magical trips where I can feel better letting a substance talk through me, but not wanting to forget, but wanting to listen.

  102. How sad that you abused this Sacred plant and put the plant at fault. News Flash! Abuse alcohol and it could be worse.

  103. it ruined my life too

  104. You took salvia while drunk?? You obviously have zero respect for such a sacred plant and got what you deseved.

  105. hey buddy i’m sorry that you can’t let go of your ego and just accept that you have no control over anything but don’t go and ruin salvia for the rest of us just because you’re too much a pussy to face the world as it is.

  106. Thank you for sharing your experience. It has resonated with me on a few levels and the idea of a living Hell is brought to mind. for those that have experienced such a thing as a living hell, may not have the understanding to feel your pain and offer prayers. I suppose my own experiences with ethneogins have led me to learn much about how the world is, however it is important to be able to learn about how the world is and then do something good with that knowledge. The idea of working with these plants, as basement shamans, or back of the van shamans is disrespectful to the ancient tradition of old doctors that did not just honor the plant as sacred but spent years and years earning its respect and lifes respect fpr that matter to be able to appropriately administer and guide a soul on this journey. Eternal Damnation is a terrible curse and not one we as artists need to experience inorder to understand God and Life. In my response to all this, I would say if you are going to walk a path with these plants understand its a life time commitment. Find a proper medicine man and get them to train you properly. This means leaving behind much of the comforts of home and dedicating your life to a honest path that has depth and truth and love at its core. I myself have seen it important to return to my roots and the spiritual path that brings me home to myself. If those that want to jump off the cliff without parachute and proper safety gear…go ahead. I hope for many blessings on your paths and always know that There is a Father and Mother that love us and want us to walk well in Life and not get lost in any version of Hell. I am grateful for the wise of those that can report back after such experiences. I personally havent taken Salvia, but I have spent 13 years walking with plants, Peyote, Ayahausca, Sacred Mushroom, St. Pedro…even I that thought I was being responsable and choosing the responsible path found myself lost in many realms that have tormented me and it seems at times the reasons have been to somehow obliterate my Soul, but perhaps the truth is that my Soul was formed from Life and belongs to Life and will either continue in many ways or find itself in the black hole of nothing…or something beyond my comprehension. That said It is still important to learn to be alive…and alive will on this earth and respond to the needs of life correctly. So if these ethneogens are helping us through putting us through hell, so we can recover and do good…then awesome. In the bible it says…1 Corinthians 10:23 (RHE) All things are lawful for me: but all things do not edify. that means… Anything is Permissable, but not everything is constructive. So be kind to each other and give thanks because truth be, is that the Plant inside Ronnie is indeed Sacred, however its job is to help Ronnie see himself and all life as sacred. So our duty is to give thanks to the plant in Ronnie for helping him see how sacred Life is. We make the plant sacred even if other forget. Blessings and if you think of sending any negative thoughts my way, inderstand that you are sending negative thoughts to your own life, the life of the sacred that is reflected in us all.

  107. and yes…we reap what we sow. Im grateful for the Teachers of the Ways of Farming and Gardening and Stewarding Life. May peace be on our Souls and the conveyor belts of death be turned into conveyor belts of Life…we get off these rides, these pathways and make steps to be Gardeners of Good Crops. If I were to tell me daughter what to do. I would say if you need to explore these realms it is because I have made mistakes that have led you to need to open yourself to these experiences. I would then say…let me take your budens, so you do not have to go that way…live well, live a life of service and above all give your trust to Life and Lifes Mother and Father, as Life knows what Life is and if you ever get lost, call out your Dads name…and he’ll come bring you home. Peace

  108. It is a shame you had a bad experience with Salvia, I think its only because that is what you were expecting. For me, salvia has stripped my ego and shoved the reality I had so tightly clung to more than once. I hope you can give it another chance with the intentions of a self discovery rather than a cheat sheet. It has saved my life in more ways than one, i went from an angry suicide mentality to a perspective shifting entity whose goal is to shape a reality that all can enjoy.

  109. Oh god. I went where you went last week. I’ve been feeling this scared feeling since then like nothing is actually real whenever I’m alone. And when I’m inside, it feels like there’s nothing existing behind the walls. I forgot my body, I took the stupid advice of someone to do it in the dark by myself. There I was floating in nothingness for eternity, the voices you spoke of mocked me, they were like “he’ll figure it out this time” suddenly I thought I was realizing the truth of existence and that it was all just the result of the weird physics reaction that created my concious, like this black hole that normally we’re in the middle and everything that is reality is being sucked into the hole, while everything that is in our mind is coming out creating the loop of our consciousness, and then when I realized that it looked like everything was ending and there was no more of reality left to experience and I was being sucked inside out. I fought with all my willpower against the pull until I felt myself yanked instantly back into my body but the dose was too strong and it yanked me back in the walls of the car which were absent of any detail felt like they were crushing In on my face and I didn’t know I had arms or a body to move and just like you said my arms were moving on their own till I could feel them and finally I was back in my body but still having extreme visuals which just made me think I had just escaped from the truth of reality, I ran to find my sister to assert that she was real. Since then, I don’t want to, but my mind just keeps drifting and remembering parts of the trip trying to decipher and understand them but I don’t want to think about it because it scared me I remember at one point breaking through to reality and wiping heaps of sweat out of my face and crying out to universe to make it stop, I was like “I JUST WANNA BE NORMAL AGAIN OH GODDD”. I mean the fact that I survived from that made me just appreciate life and I remember the thought when I thought reality was ending “is this all I ever was?” And it made me really want to do more with my life. However I keep getting scared when I’m alone that I don’t exist. I also have that feeling like there’s things and abilities I don’t remember… Thank god reality didn’t end and you all aren’t just a figment of my subconscious’ creation! You’re not right?.. D: I’m alone right now oh god.

    • HEY! I have had the SAME experience as you, and I’ve come to tell you HAVE HOPE! I have fully overcome it… You are on the right track! I don’t want to make any recommendations that I did that were experimental, so I will only list what I know that helped me. If you want more info email me kyleamegill@gmail.com

      Nootropics helped me heal the most, along with diet, exersize and meditation. I beg anyone having issues like this to try the same. There are very powerful nootropics out there that are said to be safe, but I’m only going to recommend the natural ones… Alpha Brain is one natural stack that is pretty amazing. You can take it every day. If you want to save money you can make your own combinations


      As for meditation try meditating with binaural beats, here’s an example


      The scientific explanation for this is (arguably) called Olney’s lesions. Which is basically just parts of the brain that formed new connections and disconnected from other parts, appearing as “holes” on brain scanners.

      The spiritual explanation is that you are creating a dimension of fear for yourself. Your vibration lowered when you were on it and now you are mentally stuck; you need to mentally and spiritually overcome the limitations and thoughts/fears you had through meditation and through active thoughts. Living life, being in a state of love (higher vibration), having fun and most importantly LETTING GO of the fear and experience you had is what will make this go away by making you into the person in your mind. Life is what you make it. Thoughts manifest reality.
      Take my lessons too brother :) <3 and thanks for confirming mine.

  110. When you buy salvia it says right on it “NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION”

    It is to be CHEWED or used as an INCENSE

    People sell SALVIA EXTRACTS for more “experience users”
    Each salvia product comes with a WARNING on it

    If you can’t handle your psychadelics then don’t fucking do them

    You don’t see me going around posting stories about marijuana and how it causes me to have panic attacks or feel anxiety, I DON’T POST THAT SHIT BECAUSE I LEARNED HOW TO MAN THE FUCK UP AND KNOW THE RISKS ABOUT WHAT I AM DOING BEFORE I DO IT.

    People go around slandering the names of some certain drugs just because they are fuckin pussys and can’t handle the truth without getting scared and going to have to hide in the corner from people

  111. You described everything word for word of how my experience was. Except the difference was it took me a year to come back to feeling normal. Man I would put on music an just didn’t understand the meaning of it or what I was suppose to feel.
    I’ve never felt so small in a (world/universe/larger than a number that never ends.)
    I soon had strang connections with people that I hadn’t spoke to in years that ended up reaching me an subtly let me know for some odd reason they needed to talk to me. The list goes on of strange occurrences . Hopefully by our similarities you will feel life’s beauty once again. At least you know I’m on the same side as the mirror with you (smiling) an misery loves company . Cheers buddy

  112. Hi Ronnie, I done Salvia in a bar in Montreal, when it was totally legal, around 10 years ago. I was young, without a lot of psychedelic experience (only mushroom before). Anyone could experience it, without beeing prepared for what it really was and the power of it. After that, none of my psychedelic trips went normal, I started having flashback in my daily life when I was feeling stressed. I had dreams and when I woke up, I was questioning if this world is reality. Anyway, my point here is not to talk about my whole story but to give means to people who had similar experience so they can heal themselves. Meditation, yoga, and healthy habit are for sure the way to go but it doesn’t deal with the residual unconscious ideas… I tried HOLOTROPIC BREATHING this week-end, invented by Stanislav Grof. It is a group session that bring you in an altered state of mind only by breathing (hyperventilating). And you have total control of what is going on, in a secure environment. I just found out about it couple months ago, I was very afraid to put myself in that state of mind again, but really wanted to deal with this at the same time. It was a very strong experience, and I was able to turn this massive, crushing and dark energy around me into a god energy that was pleasant. I will go again in the next session because I feel I can get much more healing out of it. Check if there is an accredited workshop in your area, or to the trip to go to one, definitely worth it.

  113. Your so wrong. YOU DID MIXED CONSUMPTION with alkohol and salvia and that lead to your damage. Im so angry at you for the name of this post and for your text you wrote yourself: I was drunk, and the part of me that hates myself took control… I loaded a bowl to the brim, and before I could turn back, my whole life began to collapse.

  114. Yes I smoked salvia years ago worst experience ever it was like the whole room unraveled like yarn or string chesse then i unraveled to I had an out of body experience I saw my body from above as if my soul left my body the trip was fast but felt like 10 minuets in real time it was 1-2 minutes….the worst is after the weak feeling you have..like for a week after….I started to see demons hear voices…then I got in to black magic….alittle after fuck… Shit got real……I had foil to cover Windows….no lie…after some time demons would be imprinted on the foil..not all at once..over time..I didn’t know if I was goning crazy Or die or both….then I started to change….did black magic spells…..really mean…..one time I pushed a guy he went to far back we were sitting on a bench and he went over the edge…no way Iam that strong…I reached my breaking point one night I had enough..seeing demons…hearing voices…I took an old rosary and held it to the foil by this time so much more company imprinted on the foil now. Half human half animal creatures…a lion with 6horns on it’s head…yes much more….back to it….I held the rosary to the foil and said this is who I claim and this is who I believe in…with all emotion….even people that didn’t smoke salvia saw the foil with demon imprintson it….they didn’t do black magic either…….it was not easy but I got out even now I feel inner healing……Bible,pray,rediscover nature, don’t give up….till this day I love GOD…ever thankful for merci..everything is good again….I can sense negtive vibes more…than before…I feel I saw things I wasn’t ment to see..there is so much more to the story….I’ve done a lot of resurch….l know Iam not the only one….l remember when I would sprinkle black sault in certain places for certain reasons…..

  115. Ok after the mess is over life out look is so diffrent I don’t take life for granted now Iam all the more wise and the bible made sence to me after…and know when you begin to read the Bible you won’t be able without distraction first you’ll get extremely sleepy all of a sudden..once you firgure out who doesn’t want you to read it you get wise to the tricks then you may read but it makes no sense to You or you forget what you read right after… Don’t be discouraged…..or you interpret the moral wrong all.. Head games…don’t be weak !!!! Stay strong Remeber the enemy can’t do any thing without GODS permission….show your allance…..soon you’ll learn how to fight back with your god..which ever faith you choose

  116. I have mixed views about your experience. I definitely think drugs are a tool to boost the creativity of the artist, but not through repetitive, daily use. Salvia is indeed one of the most powerful hallucinogenics out there. I think it indeed shows you realms beyond our own. They have very little relation to human life whatsoever, but do seem to be a reality of their own. Spending a lot of time in this space would dissociate an individual from their daily life. That’s at least what I found striking about Salvia – its ability to erase all earthly identity and memory when in that realm. I don’t neccesarily think its fair to condemn Salvia for the issues you are having. It is a very wise plant, which will show you the grander, broader aspects of reality. But to be smoking it 100s of times say in a couple years is very abusive. I think you would be in a lot better of a place if you opted to smoke it perhaps less than 15 times in year, even just once or twice. Just my two cents, not intending to insult you here.

  117. And how can we gently avoid someone who enjoys taking salvia a lot from doing so? :/
    I am not against cannabis and psychedelics like truffles or lsd (from greek “psiho diloo” which means express what’s in my soul), but I’ve understood what salvia does to people… How can I convince a loved one to stop using it, though he likes it now?

  118. High concentrations of the drug were localized to the cerebellum and visual cortex, which are parts of the brain responsible for motor function and vision, respectively. Based on their results and published data from human use, the scientists estimate that just 10 micrograms of salvia in the brain is needed to cause psychoactive effects in humans.

  119. Hi sorry but I have a question did salvia did that to u or u meen all drugs

  120. Wish I would have read this article before trying Salvia. I smoked a pinch of a 20x extract and now I’m fucked for life. I can barely function. It’s a living hell.

  121. I’m so sorry you went through this. I hope it is better for you now.

  122. I am terribly sorry for what you have went through. It pains me how you have suffer so much. It is unfortunate that you have had to experience this but you must realize it’s not the Salvia’s fault. I can tell your a cool dude, I can tell your wise and a good person, but I can also see your Ego. Through your writing I get a glimpse of the aspects of yourself that allowed for this to happen to you. It’s clear you were(are)an artist and a seeker. Your ego identified with these “roles” you felt you must play the part am very grateful that you care enough about others to teach them of your mistake, but to blame Salvia and simply call it a drug is disrespectful, and is one of the things I read in this post that show me the weak aspects of your ego and psyche that couldn’t handle the weight of Salvia’s heavy lesson. You cannot blame Salvia for what happened to you, it is your responsibility. You abused her, you said you used her hundreds of times, seemingly with very little awareness of her power and knowledge and little respect for her (from what I sense from what you typed) Lady Salvia demands respect, and you smoked her, she doesn’t particularly like to be burned. I know this may sound odd, maybe you resonate with it I don’t know. What I know is that when one plays with fire their likely to get burned, you were playing with fire and you weren’t careful, you got burned. Lady Salvia is a loving but merciless teacher, you weren’t ready for the lesson. Upon reading some more comments I see that other children of the lady have already replied and probably have said all I intended to and more, if you haven’t heeded our words I hope you do. I feel part of your healing will require you to realize you can not blame Salvia, and forgiving her will be absolutely necessary for healing. This is a crazy reality we live in, crazier than crazy, it is infinitely deep and complex.
    I want you to know that I in no way intended for my comment to make you feel bad in any way. I took the time to type this because I love you and I love Salvia like a mother and I want to see all children love and respect all mothers, and I want you to be happy and to know that this is all part of your path and that YOU CAN GET BETTER, and once you have healed you will be better and stronger than ever before. Also, you noted that you felt like parts of yourself pare list or forgotten, this is exactly what shamans help people retrieve. My intuition told me to do 3 things, 1. Type out this comment, 2. tell you that you took a trip to the void and left some aspects of yourself there, THEY CAN BE RETRIEVED, I’M SUPPOSED TO TELL YOU TO SEEK OUT A SHAMAN, THEY HAVE HELPED OTHERS I’M YOUR SAME SITUATION FOR MILLENIA, and 3. I’M SUPPOSED TO TELL YOU YOU’RE LOVED, THERE’S HELP OUT THERE AND I’M SUPPOSED TO LEAVE YOU MY EMAIL BECAUSE I WANT TO HELP YOU IN ANYWAY THAT I CAN AND I MAY BE ABLE TO ASSIST YOU, (AMARZ1995@GMAIL.COM) I’VE NEVER DONE THIS FOR ANYBODY BEFORE LET ALONE ON THE INTERNET. I hope you have healed more and if not I hope you contact me.

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