19Sep/10108

Where Have I Been?

About three years ago, I realized that I didn’t like myself anymore. I had been living in a van, fucking and smoking and drinking my way from one show to the next. I’d lost all conviction in my playing, and I knew it was time to go home. So, that’s what I did.

Within the week, my record label dropped me, my girlfriend moved on, and I began to break down. Not knowing where else to turn, I set out to destroy who I’d become.

I started taking hallucinogenic drugs and traveled most of the world alone. I was looking for transcendence, but I found only ruin and fear.

In less than two years, I went from signing a million-dollar recording contract, to fumbling my initials onto admission papers at a psychiatric ward. I had completely lost my way.

The details of my suffering are, I think, best left unsaid. As for the drugs, don't take this as an aggrandizement; I wouldn’t wish that path for anyone. I only wanted to let you know where I have been, and why it has taken me so long to find my way back.

Many of you kept in touch over the years, and some of you continued to believe in me, even when I couldn’t find the strength to believe in myself. I apologize to anyone that I may have let down, and I’d like to express my sincere gratitude for your support.

I hope to reconnect with all of you, soon.
This next phase is going to be a good one.

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  1. I can say, without fail, you have always been the one musician who has been with me through the ups and downs the most. Your music has saved me when all else has failed. And I know many others absolutely feel the same. And i’m pretty sure none of us will ever lose faith in you, or your music, and your voice.

  2. Sounds great, can’t wait to add that new CD to my collection.

  3. I first found out about you when you toured with meg and dia back in 2007 i think. I immediately bought the album and played every song non stop. I still play the songs from time to time, and the older i get the more i understand the lyrics. i have been waiting patiently waiting for more music to come for you and i cant wait for the next album to come out. good luck with everything and i am looking forward to hearing more music from you soon.

  4. Hey Ron,

    I have believed in you and your music for years, as you know. I have never lost support for you and truely believe you have changed my life with your music. I know you can make it through this and come out a better man for it. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me and I hope for a speedy recovery for you. I will be moving to LA next year and I hope we can reconnect. Good Luck and I hope to see you soon.

  5. I was wondering the same thing… where have I been? No, I haven’t lost my way through a blur of drugs. But I still have lost my way through bad relationships, sex, etc. I hope you found your way back Ronnie. I thought your music was inspiring and it held such promise. I’m finding my way back too. Hopefully we’ll both come out better people on the other side of this.

  6. It’s good to hear you are finding your way back. I hope you can put away what’s past. And I also hope you can find your way away from drugs. When you become sober, and are truly sober, not just quitting for three days, you see life with different eyes. I wish the best for you. And I as well as many others can’t wait for some new tunes from a great guy. Also my girlfriend digs your music, so come to Tampa or St. Pete Florida if you decide to tour. We’ll definitely come out to see you.

    • Dennis,

      I’m glad you mentioned it, because I didn’t get to touch on that: I am and have been sober for several months, and I am loving the healing process.

  7. We all have stories…we all have breakdowns and things we’re not so proud of. We have the choice to “rise from the ashes” and reinvent ourselves and move forward leaving the past in the past and living in the moment. Some don’t quite understand the concept of living in the moment…but I’m thinking you’re having the right idea at this point in time in your life. Thank you for sharing your imperfections on the web for anybody and everybody to see…

    one of your loyal fans from IL ;)

    • Hey Vinny,

      You’re absolutely right: everyone has a story, and everyone hurts. It helps me to share mine, and I’m really glad you’re listening. It means a lot to me, really.

  8. i’m so happy for you. i’ve been a fan for years and i’m so glad you’re back! your music is amazing. and so are you! i hope i can meet you one day!

  9. We first interviewed you in 2006 and from the moment you were on my radar, I was completely blown away by your talent. You convey so much emotion through your music and it’s something that is 100% legit – not manufactured crap that so many other artists churn out.

    Thanks for sharing this. I’ve told you this before and I’ll say it again: If there’s ever anything you need that I can help you with [through Revolt, or personally], just say the word.

    Keep me posted on November’s NYC trip so we can get together.

  10. You can wonder whether or not things could have gone differently. Perhaps better, or worse. But the reality is that this path you’ve been on, ups and the downs, has brought you to THIS exact point. I’ve been listening since fairly close to the beginning and have never lost faith in your drive, regardless of what seemingly misguided motivations you think you had. It’s all part of the journey. This is what makes art and music real. It’s not about the sound itself; it’s the fact that there is a reason for the sound. If ever you’re lost, you’re okay, because any direction is forward. Keep fighting forward.

    As for this new chapter? If ever you decide to tour again, maybe throw Lynchburg, VA onto the roster. I live in a huge loft downtown with some friends, and we just hosted a show with a ton of local musicians and a touring band from Nashville as well, and about 160 people showed. AND all of the touring bands’ costs were covered. People would love you here. It’s a good town with good vibes.

    Keep going. I’m a fan.

    • Yes, Virginia for sure. Include a show closer to D.C. though perhaps? :P

    • Hey Jeff, I was just thinking of you! I came across that “Miss America” song the other night, and had to go look up your cover. You did a great job with that.

      I hope we’ll get a chance to make something happen out in Lynchburg.

    • I just wanted to say I support a Lynchburg show, too! I actually go to school in Roanoke, and being able to see a show in Lynchburg would be great :) Haha, I’m pretty sure people from my school would carpool to your show!

  11. “Like Eminem says, I hit rock bottom so hard I bounced twice. And as odd as it sounds, I absolutely LOVE that place called rock bottom. More people need to go there. Why? Because change happens when you’ve finally suffered enough.”

    Glad to hear things are on the upswing. Many have connected with you through your unique songs and videos. Your music has always been at the top of my list, because it is so real and passionate. I’ve been able to better understand the lyrics as the years pass. I can’t wait to see what you have in store and I hope I can see you live sometime as well. The last time I got a chance, it was prom night, and going from the show at Jammin Java to the prom wouldn’t work out logistically. Anyway, keep doing what you’re doing. We love you for it!

    • I have actually been listening to a lot of Eminem, myself recently… But I guess that’s not such a coincidence, really. He’s hard to miss, right now.

      As for a show, I’ll be back on the road sometime soon, so we should get another chance to make the live experience happen. Keep in touch, Alex.

  12. Thank you for coming back. As cliche as it is, your music has helped me thorough some really tough times. I can’t wait to see what you come up with next.
    I’ve never been able to see you live, but I would kill to go a show. Come out to Massachusetts, the East Coast is a nice place :)

  13. I have loved your music since I was a freshman in high school. I am now a freshman in college, and I still smile every time I hear one of your songs. I can’t wait to be able to hear more from you. Your music got me through some hard times, and has brought me a lot of joy and happiness at other times. Thank you for everything :)

  14. Hey man, i remember that summer after 8th grade where we discovered your music. we learned how to play all of the songs off of “The Album”. Honestly man, those nights singing your songs with each other around the fire, or just in a living room or basement, those were the best memories. we continued to play those songs throughout the fall and winter and even into the next summer. your songs brought a bunch of us together, and brought a new sense of community and faith within us. i’m now 18 years old, that summer was 5 years ago. we’ve all been religiously following you since, watching all the youtube videos, reading all te blogposts, EVERYthing. we’re always continue to support you as the years go on man, thanks a bunch for bringing your music into this world, and i know something greater and bigger is in store for you.

    • What a great feeling that brought, to think of you guys coming together around my music. Thank you for sharing that memory, Jezar. That’s exactly why I’d like to keep releasing music, and I’m so happy that you and your friends are still checking in.

  15. Ronnie,
    I, too, echo the sentiments of others who found your music so pertinent to a particular time in life. Your music brings back so many great memories and I smile every time that it comes up in my playlist. I just thought of you the other day when we went to Dicks after your concert and you couldn’t believe that ketchup cost you an extra 5 cents. Then there was the night that The Album came out and I was the first one out of our Ronnie fan group to buy it and I sat in my car on Capitol Hill listening to it! I have always believed in you and I know that the experiences we go through are only meant to make us stronger.

    I still follow you and your music and I am excited for new endeavors and opportunities for you. While I still hope to make it down to LA soon to hang out and catch up with you guys, you still should plan to come to Seattle soon.

    Love!
    -Ari

  16. Each and every one of your songs speaks directly to my heart. You have gotten me through so much through your music. I love you!! Haha honestly it’s my life long goal to meet you or at least see you play. I just want to say thanks for always being there even though you didn’t know you were.
    Keep it up, you make us all so happy

    <3

  17. Ronnie,

    I was first introduced to your music back in early 2007 when you played at the House of Blues in Orlando with Quietdrive and Bowling For Soup. You were, by far, amazing that night. The friends that I went with and I were all struck with awe by your music. We bought your album and have shared it with our friends that weren’t able to make it there with us. Especially our friends back home, since we were all, at that time, working at Disney in the College Program. All my friends who listened to you since then have fallen in love with your music because your lyrics are something we can find ourselves relating to. Back when I was still into MySpace, I tried to keep in touch with you occasionally on there and your responses always brightened up my day. I just want to let you know that we are still here for you. We wait patiently for any bit of new music you bring and any new tour that you might go on (because you know you want to stop in Johnson City, TN for us haha). Just know we never quit believing in your or your music, now will we.

    -Khrysthene

    • I’ll never forget that show, but I’d rather not say why. :-/

      I’m glad you guys found me there, and stuck with it, and I hope we can share a few more concerts together, yet!

  18. Good Luck dude, your CD was the soundtrack to my tour last year, and will therefore have amazing associations with me forever. Thank you. Hope the next phase is rad for you!

  19. I have been a fan of yours since I was in high school and I’m now a sophomore in college. I’ve always loved your music,and had such great respect for you. I’m so glad to hear your back and that your doing well. I have faith in you that you’ll do amazing in the future and so on :) I hope I get to meet you one day and at least get to give you a hug and thank you for playing such beautiful music!

    • I’m sure we’ll have that chance. I’d like to make my way back to playing shows sometime, soon. Thanks for writing and for sticking by me all this while.

  20. Ronnie,
    I’ve been a fan for a long time. I saw you three times in various parts of San Diego and I loved seeing you perform each time. I felt so cool that my friends and I heard you play “Hazel Eyes” and that you told us we’d hear it on a CD someday. I hope that’s the case, but if not, I feel still feel lucky to have heard it live. I’m excited to see where your next phase leads you. Thank you for posting the video. It’s good to hear new music from you. Your lyrics are always real and relatable. Thank you for all the great music. I have some songs from “The Album” on my “essentials” playlist and I can’t wait to add more. Good luck with everything. The same goes for Flex. I hope you’re both doing well.

  21. Dear Ronnie,

    I’ve fallen in love with your songs since I was probably a sophomore in high school. I am now on my 3rd year in college and I still love your music just as much. Your music was there for me before I met my first love and it was there for me when we broke up two years later. Then when I picked up my first guitar two years ago, I couldn’t wait to be able to play your songs. I just wanted to share that and let you know that your music has touched my life, in so many ways. Keep strong, Ronnie. <3

    -Que

    • Hello Que,

      I really like your name, and I hope that the new songs will be just as much of a joy for you to play as the old ones were. Here’s a heart for you, too: <3

  22. ronnie,

    I to have listened to you since my sophomore year in high school – and here I am as a junior in college and just spent the day yesterday listening to you on repeat. You are blessed and I hope you continue to come up from too far down. If I ever get a chance to see you live… I could check a thing off that very important list. I have so much love for you and your work – and your albums have been following my life in every corner. What you do is a public service; thank you.

    kara

  23. ronnie you’ve been my favorite for as long as i can remember. i feel so cliche saying this, but your music saved me. anytime i felt like i was headed towards that place i knew i didn’t want to be, i would turn you on and suddenly nothing was so bad anymore. i know the same goes for a few of my closest friends, and of course all your fans. you are unique. you are truly something special. hearing that you’re back was the best news i’ve heard in a long time-not that your previous songs could ever get old. i cant wait to have a new album to play on repeat.

    proud of you!

    • It’s strange to think that sad songs can have an uplifting effect, but I know how you feel. Music is where I turn in my times of need, too. I’m happy to know that we’ve been able to help each other. Thanks for checking in, Christine.

  24. Glad you’re alive.

  25. I think it’s a huge testimony that you’ve brought to light your past and that you’re working through it. I’ve been a listener of yours for a few years now, and your music has impacted my life. One of my brother’s passed away four years ago, and listening to your music has brought me up when I’ve been down, particularly “Heroes Die.” “The Album” is something I share with my brother Josh, which is cool, because he’s not the biggest fan of my music, and through that sharing, we remember and pay tribute to our lost brother. So…welcome back, and thanks for sharing your heart.

    • I’m sorry to hear about your brother, but I’m glad that the songs help. I hope that this next phase brings us both into a happier place.

  26. I missed you. Your music. I was wondering what you had been up to; thanks for putting this out there. I’m glad you’re finding your way back & cannot wait for what you create next :)

  27. When I was young and I thought that I would never love anyone again after my first love, you told me that I would love again and that things would be alright.

    They were. You’re a good man. I wish you the best of luck.

  28. Hope you can come to Portland OR someday.

  29. Hi Ronnie,

    I just want to let you know that your music is so full of emotion. Not the Same has 121 plays, Written at a Rest Stop has 106 plays, Lived Learned Loved and Lost has 81 plays, and etc….
    Nearly all your songs are in my Top 25 Most Played.

    I’ve introduced your music to every friend I know.
    I hope you make it big; your music is always with me – it sings to me while I fall asleep, crying.

    My life is full of ups and downs; and I get too tangled up in love….but your music always brings me hope.

    I’ll always be your fan.
    I believe that you will make it big one day; and I’ll be there supporting you along the way.

    Welcome back; I’m waiting for the next album to be on my top 25 Plays. :)

  30. Ronnie,

    I understand where you’re coming from. I haven’t had the same experiences, but I know what it’s like to lose your way. It’s scary. Especially when you just can’t seem to find your way back.

    It’s not much, but know that I’ve never given up on you, ever.

    I love your music. Every time I go to the beach, it’s the only mix that feels right on the drive. Your lyrics helped me through a lot. I’ve been listening to you since I was a senior in high school… Now I’m a senior in college and still as enamored by you.

    I’m glad you’re doing better, and I’m excited for new music :)

    Always a fan,

    Grace <3

  31. I just stumbled upon your music on pandora…wow you are so talented…and i just read your blog..sounds like you went through a rough patch but are coming out of it stronger then ever….keep writing music…i hope you get back out on the road and come through jersey…you are very talented!!!!

  32. Hey Ronnie,
    I remember when I saw you play in Tucson, Arizona a few days after my 8th grade promotion. I loved your music then just as much as I do now. I’m a senior in High School now and am currently living in West Virginia. I haven’t been able to find a place to listen to hazel eyes or so high(? the names could be wrong, as it’s been a while, but i’m sure you know which songs i’m talking about) and I’ve had bits and pieces of the songs playing in my head for days on end. Is there any place online I where can have a listen to them?

  33. Love you, Ron. I really do. Just talking Tony the other day about dropping by to visit you guys, and check out some of the new music. Soon <3 Lots of catching up!

  34. Ronnie,

    Whatever you do, get your ass over to Australia and play some gigs!

  35. As much as I love your music (and I really do love it), I love your words so much more. I think that’s what makes your music so captivating. It feels like you don’t throw together lyrics just to take up space before the hook. Every line means something. And that kind of passion travels through to listeners and we have no choice but to feel that same passion. Reading this breaks my heart because I feel like while you were having all of these troubles, I’d forgotten about you and your music and your words that kept me thinking through anything and everything. But you’re back. And I can assure you that, as a fan, I’m back too. And I can’t wait to hear what else you have to tell me.

  36. Hey Ronnie, not sure if you remember that MySpace layout contest you had ages ago, but I was the winner. Although I lost the PSP, I still have your album. Your music got me through a lot of hard times, and I’m glad to see that you’ve moved past your hard times. I’ll always be a huge fan of yours and I can’t wait for the next album (:

    • I do remember that… I was jealous of your PSP and wanted to keep it for myself on tour! I’m glad you’re still here, Rowena. It’s been a long time since, then.

  37. Ronnie,
    I’m so glad to read this and hear that things are turning around. I remember seeing you at the MTVu concert (the Festival Pier at Penn’s Landing) when your sound system wasn’t working so you had to come off stage and play unplugged. The intimacy of that show was incredible. But after the concert I didn’t hear anything about your music for a while. My friends and I started asking, “What happened with Ronnie Day?”. We then heard snippets of what had happened, and honestly gave up hope for another album. Now that I’m reading this it explains a lot, and I can’t wait to see what comes next. The emotion that you put into your music is incredible, and you are an especially inspiring writer to me, as I am an aspiring songwriter and musician. Looking forward to the new album! Best of luck.

  38. welcome back. Not many people are lucky enough to hit bottom and then bounce back up knowing that they have the strength to fight anything that comes their way… keep up the good work. and again…good to have you back. =)

  39. Ronnie Day!
    I am so glad to hear that you’re back and fighting to stay strong. For a couple years I’ve been checking your Myspace page to see if you had any shows or new music, and I was always sad to see there was nothing new up, so I’m glad you’re back!
    I’m also ecstatic to hear that you are playing/producing music again :) I’ve listened to your music for quite a few years and I never get sick of it. I love the raw emotion in it and everything else about it. I was only able to see you once in Sugarhouse, UT but I had a great time – it was an awesome show. I’m really digging “Birds in a Storm” it sounds really good and I can’t wait to hear what else you come up with!

  40. On a random whim after adding your music to my first Pandora, I decided to look your name up and found this page. I just have to say, that I still remember first watching you 5-6 years ago at my first ever concert as a new high schooler student (I believe you were playing with Daphne Loves Derby as well). I had just enough money to buy one CD and your music affected me the most. I never regret spending the money I had on your CD, I loved every song. And despite having listened to that CD to death, I still love it and I honestly look forward to what else you make. (: Keep going Ronnie. God Bless.

  41. You are a wonderful artist !
    Hold on !

  42. Dear Ronnie – I’ve listened to your music often since I discovered you, oh, a long time ago. I just want to say that this post hits closer to home than you could ever know. I’m glad you found the strength to pull through this phase and continue to make great music. Also, I’ve always thoroughly enjoyed reading your blogs and I wish I could write find it in myself to write nice blogs. Anyways, I hope you have a nice nightt and maybe come play a show in Eau Claire, Wisconsin sometime and visist me? Thankkss. :)

  43. Hey Ronnie,

    I don’t know if you remember me. We used to message back and forth in the days of myspace….lol. Now that we have all moved on to bigger and better things (facebook–haha) I thought I would check in.

    You have to know how talented you are. You have to know how amazing it is to sit down and write the things you have….. your music speaks amazing words. I have been listening to you since “written at a rest stop” That song still gives me chills. Anyone who is capable of such talent and feelings is able to get through this. A new phase is the most exciting thing…. and most of all, you are strong for coming out on top. Stronger than you had been, and smarter than anyone who hasn’t gone through what you have. EVERYTHING happens for a reason. You WILL be ok. I believe……. I always have!

  44. I think all that you have had to go through to get to where you are is inspiring, it shows that you can get back to where you want to be. It is really helping me out, along with your music, I absolutely am a huge fan of it all. :)

  45. Saw you open for Hit the Lights quite a few years ago and Nine Sleepless Nights has kept me company on many train rides into Philadelphia ever since.. glad you’re back.

  46. i’m so happy you’re back :) I love your music and i never lost faith

  47. Ronnie,

    I found you online years ago at about 2 am just looking around. From the first song I listened to, I was hooked. I ordered Nine Sleepless Nights and it stayed in my cd player in my old Chevy Blazer until the engine blew a few years later. When I found out you were signing a record deal, I was SO ecstatic! I bought it the DAY it came out and listened to it over and over. I felt like you weren’t just a musician, you were a good friend I’d let into my life through your lyrics. I met a girl and she LOVED your music too. Falling for You became one of our “songs.” I hadn’t checked your site in the last few months, but when I found this I had to read it. I’m sorry you went through that mess. But I just want you to know that your fans never went anywhere. I’d love to keep hearing new music from you. Birds in a Storm is amazing. I guess what I’m saying is that your fans have grown, but we’re still your fans. I married that girl that loved your music, we had a beautiful boy and I’m older now, but everytime I listen to your CD, I’m back in that Blazer driving around with my windows down living a carefree life of a 17 year old. Your music has that effect on me. Please keep writing music. And please, please, please get out to North Carolina!

    Sincerely,
    Adam Shipman

  48. You can get through anything(: and I loove the album, never get tired of it.


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